


The Princess of Avengers Tower

by Caedmon



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adorable Bruce Banner, Awesome Phil Coulson, Baby, Darcy is hilarious as always, Domestic Fluff, F/M, New Family, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pepper has a biological clock like whoa, Protective Thor, Steve still has a crush, Tags May Change, Thor likes kids, Tony Stark Has A Heart, adjusting to being parents, and Clint is still pissed about it, how do assassins deal with parenthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 17:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1866138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work is a continuation of my series "You Are My Weakness" - it picks up immediately after 'Weakness' left off, the characterizations and everything are the same. I've worked in a very brief review of the relevant plot points in the first couple of paragraphs of chapter 1, but it wouldn't hurt to read the first work (just be warned, it's long).</p><p>The current tags reflect what is upcoming/I'm intending to write.</p><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please leave comments, suggestions, constructive criticism, or kudos! They keep me going. :D</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Erinna Comes Home

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a continuation of my series "You Are My Weakness" - it picks up immediately after 'Weakness' left off, the characterizations and everything are the same. I've worked in a very brief review of the relevant plot points in the first couple of paragraphs of chapter 1, but it wouldn't hurt to read the first work (just be warned, it's long).
> 
> The current tags reflect what is upcoming/I'm intending to write.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave comments, suggestions, constructive criticism, or kudos! They keep me going. :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Natasha bring home their baby girl.

 

Clint Barton sat in the crappy reclining chair beside his sleeping wife's bed with his brand new daughter sleeping on his chest, stroking her back absently and kissing her downy blonde head every now and then. Natasha had dozed off again, the combination of painkillers and lack of sleep finally catching up with her, but she hadn't been asleep very long. Clint wanted her to sleep as long as she could; God knows she had earned it. In the meantime he just sat, basking in the glow of being the happiest he’d ever been in his life and thinking that surely he was the luckiest bastard in the world. 

Natasha's pregnancy had been...unusual and eventful, to say the least. She had been pregnant during the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. and hadn't known it, then was kidnapped by her old handler from the KGB after all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s secrets were revealed - including her location. They had found out she was pregnant while she was in the hospital after she took a vicious beating that should have killed her and the baby, but hadn't thanks to her enhancements as a child in the Red Room - the same Red Room who had attempted to damage her reproductive organs so that she could never have children. The chemical enhancements they gave her made her heal the butchering they did over time, however, and he and Nat had been shocked to find out she was pregnant. Clint was overjoyed right away, Natasha was not. She felt no attachment to the baby until it was born and struggled mightily with the idea of motherhood.

Clint and Natasha had married a little over two years ago in Las Vegas, but their marriage was voided on a technicality. Both of them had been broken hearted and wanted to remarry, but couldn't see a way around it. Thankfully, Phil Coulson had contacts who owed him favors and was willing to help them out. So as soon as Coulson had cleared up the issue, he had proposed again and they married in Central Park while she was pregnant. She was Natasha Romanov Barton now, and oh, how that made his heart sing.

Then her uterus had herniated towards the end of her pregnancy, an event that could potentially be fatal to Natasha and the baby, and the doctor put her on bed rest. _That_ had gone over horribly. Thankfully, it hadn't lasted long before her water broke, and she delivered the baby safely via emergency c-section, since the cord was around the baby's neck. 

_Damn. Nothing's ever simple, is it?,_ Clint lamented.

But now it was over, Erinna Claire Barton was born healthy on Halloween and Nat was safe. Clint had the two women that mattered most in his life, his whole world, sleeping on him and beside him and he couldn't understand for the life of him how he'd gotten so damned lucky.

Erinna stirred and he shushed her quietly, rubbing circles on her back, hoping to get her back to sleep. Nat hadn't slept much since the c-section 36 hours ago, and had been laboring for ten hours when they took the baby. She needed to rest.

Erinna, however, was not ready to be soothed. She stirred a little more, whimpering in a croaking sort of way (he guessed that was normal, Clint knew dick about babies), and started rooting around on his chest. He smiled at her, "That's not me you want, princess. C'mon, though, let's let Mommy sleep a bit, ok?" 

He stood up, cradling her gently in his muscled arms and went to the little plastic bassinet, looking for the pacifier. He found it and put it in her mouth quickly, swaying back and forth.

"She's not supposed to have that, you know."

"I know, but I wanted to let you sleep."

"I appreciate it."

"She's hungry."

"Okay, give me just a second." Natasha adjusted the bed until she was sitting upright, then held her hands out for Erinna. "Come here, baby girl. Let's get you situated." Erinna let out a cry of protest as she left Clint's arms, but settled immediately upon finding her meal waiting.

"Did you hear that, Tasha? She cried for me. She loves her Daddy."

Natasha smiled at him indulgently. "Of course she does. What's not to love?" 

He smiled back at her and leaned to kiss her briefly. "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, too. Now, bust me out of here today."

"The doc wants you and Erinna to stay until tomorrow so they can watch you."

"We're both fine, and I'm dying to get home."

"Why are you so anxious to be home?"

She rolled her eyes. "Clint, you know perfectly well I can't sleep worth a damn without you beside me. I'm exhausted and want to go sleep."

He kissed her forehead, then lowered his forehead into her hair. "Okay, but I want medical coming to check you and the baby out until you're both cleared."

"Whatever it takes."

He kissed her again. "Okay. I'll pack your stuff."

*

Natasha didn't know if she was amused or annoyed with Clint when they got back to their floor of Avengers Tower and he walked a sleeping Erinna from room to room, showing her around her home. When he came into the den, however, and stood by the chair she was sitting in, it switched to all amusement.

"And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so 's you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things."

Natasha burst out laughing, then clutched her belly. "Dammit, Clint, that hurt!"

He grinned at her. "She has to be introduced to the classics early. We gotta raise her right."

"Are you going to be quoting _Raising Arizona_ all the time now?"

"Possibly." She rolled her eyes, smiling as he put her in the swing. "How the hell does this thing work?"

"How should I know? Aren't there instructions? Buckle her in, though."

He did, then set about pressing buttons. Music started playing, then stopped. A mobile started spinning, and he stopped it. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Mechanical shit ain't my thing. We need Stark or Banner."

"Why don't we just put her in her bassinet and go to sleep until she wakes up? I'm so damn tired."

"Okay. Clint reached over to offer a hand to Natasha so she could get to her feet. She took it and he pulled her into his arms. "I can't believe you married me."

"Twice."

He grinned. "Twice. Now you've given me a little girl. Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Maybe."

"Just maybe?"

"Show me you love me by putting me in the bed and cuddling me to sleep before the baby wakes and people start showing up."

He kissed her softly. "You got it."

*

"Mr. Barton?"

"Mmmph."

"Mr. Barton, Mr. Stark and -"

A loud wail cut him off, and both Clint and Natasha bolted upright, Clint reaching instinctively for his gun and Natasha grabbing her lower abdomen and groaning. Clint heard her and changed directions in an instant, reaching to comfort her.

"Sweetheart? You okay?"

"Yeah, just not supposed to sit up that fast yet." Erinna continued to cry as Clint sat with his arm around Natasha, unsure what to do. "Go get her! I'm fine!"

Clint scrambled off the bed and over to the bassinet, scooping up Erinna and rocking her gently, quieting her almost instantly. "Jarvis, so help me, if you wake her up again I'll have Nat deprogram you. You hear me?"

"My apologies, sir. I will endeavor to remain quiet where young Miss Barton is sleeping from this point. I am quite sorry.” 

Clint sighed. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he'd have guilt for being rude to a disembodied robot voice. Natasha came walking over slowly, deliberately, wanting to check on Erinna.

"What was it you needed, Jarvis?"

"Sir, Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts wish to come visit you shortly, in approximately one hour. What shall I tell them?"

Clint looked at Natasha. She was exhausted and sore. She looked dead on her feet and his heart ached for her. "Sweetheart?"

She sighed a little, then nodded. ”Yeah, okay. Tell them that’s fine, they’ll be welcome. Just let me feed her and get a shower. Jarvis, can they wait until we let them know we're ready? It'll be about an hour."

"I'll let them know, Mrs. Barton."

"Please, call me Natasha. Mrs. and Miss Barton is going to get confusing."

"Yes, ma'am."

She sighed and laid her head against Clint's shoulder for a moment. "The next few weeks are going to suck, aren't they?"

He heard the trepidation and tiredness in Natasha's voice and steeled himself to be strength for her and Erinna for as long as they needed him. Clint kissed her hair, nudged her head back with his cheek then bent over and kissed her lips softly, opening her mouth to him slowly for just a moment. He looked into her eyes, willing her without words to stay out from behind the wall she liked to hide behind. "I love you, and I've got you. I'll not let you fall, sweetheart. Trust me, and trust that."

She smiled tiredly. "I trust you."

Erinna squawked. Clint kissed Natasha quickly and said, "Good. Now let's feed the little princess so we can take care of you."


	2. Meeting The Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erinna is properly introduced to her new "family."

"I mean it, Tasha. If she asks us if we've got the dip-tet, I'm gonna lose it."

"Clint..."

"It's not going to take much. I'm pretty tired, too. She's gonna say something about one of us getting carried off in a twister..."

"Clinton Barton, I swear to God -"

"Mr. Barton? Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts have arrived."

"Thanks, Jarvis." 

Clint got up to walk to the door and Natasha called out to him, "Clint?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

" _Behave._ "

He gave her the lopsided grin he knew she loved and went to the door, coming back a moment later with Tony and Pepper behind him. Tony was carrying a bouquet of pink flowers and a gift wrapped in pastel paper with a big pink bow; Pepper had a pink and white stuffed puppy in her hand. Upon rounding the corner and spotting Natasha on the couch with Erinna, she blindly slammed the puppy into Tony's chest, forcing him to take it and walked over to sit by Natasha, cooing. Clint smirked at Tony's dumbfounded look and went to sit on the other side of his wife. Tony stood at the entrance of the den, watching for a moment before Clint took pity on him. "Come on in, Tony. Have a seat."

Tony came in and sat, muttering, "I mean, what the hell? Flowers and puppies don't even win you a smile anymore?"

Pepper didn't even look up from stroking Erinna's head. "Shut up, Tony. We'll all adore you later."

Natasha looked up at Pepper, "You want to hold her?" 

Pepper radiated and Natasha ever-so-gently passed the baby over. Clint held his breath until Erinna was snuggled safely, then slipped his arm around Natasha's shoulders. 

"Oh, look at you, Erinna. Look at her, Tony. Isn't she beautiful? She's beautiful, guys. Clint, she looks just like you."

"Thanks." He felt as if he would burst at her words. "I'm hoping she'll grow out of it." Natasha nudged him with her shoulder as Tony and Pepper laughed.

"We all do, Birdie. While you've got a free hand, Nat..." Tony stood and walked over to Natasha, presenting her with the gifts and flowers with a flourish. "Congratulations to you both." He kissed Natasha quickly on the cheek. "It's not every day that Pepper lets me give flowers to and kiss beautiful women, so I'm enjoying the moment.” He looked over at Clint and made a face, standing and heading back to his chair. “Sorry, Birdie. Not my type."

Clint waved dismissively as Tony sat back down. "I think I'll live." 

"Oh, Natasha, she's just so beautiful." Pepper was gazing rapturously at Erinna, rocking gently back and forth. Erinna had worked a hand free and grasped Peppers index finger. "I do believe she's an angel straight from heaven."

Clint choked and then stifled a yelp when Natasha elbowed him hard in the ribs. He avoided looking at her, knowing he would crack up, and decided a change of subject was in order. "Hey, Tony. Can you help me figure out this damn swing? It's got more buttons than my car."

"You can't figure out a baby swing, Hawk?"

"No, but I can pin you to the wall by your inseam without drawing blood from 200 yards. So you wanna help me?"

"It would be my pleasure."

Pepper and Natasha exchanged smiles and went back to cooing at the baby. The men figured out the swing and got it working well, coming to sit back in their spots. Erinna started to complain after a time and Natasha deduced it was time for a diaper change.

Clint started to get up. "I'll get it."

Pepper interjected, "I'll be happy to, if you'd like. I know you guys have a lot of diapers in your future, I'm glad to do what I can..."

Clint shrugged. Natasha smiled and said, "thanks, we'd appreciate it." Pepper walked over to the pack-n-play in the corner and laid Erinna on the changing area. Natasha looked at Tony, "Are you ready to hold your niece?" 

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, "yeah, I don't know, she's really small..."

Pepper came back towards him. "Oh hush, Tony. She's an angel. Here." She leaned down to hand the baby over.

He recoiled. "I don't like being handed things."

Clint and Natasha protested loudly.

"Hey! Watch it, Stark!"

"That's my daughter, not a 'thing', Tony."

Tony darted his eyes back and forth between the two assassins quickly. As sarcastic and snide as he was, and as much as he considered them friends, he didn't like to piss off Clint and Natasha. Besides, he didn't intend to insult anyone's baby.

"Well, you know, come to think of it, with a bundle this beautiful, I'll just make an exception. Let me get a look at you, see if you really do look like your papa." 

Pepper handed the baby over and Tony accepted her with surprising ease. "Well now, you are a pretty thing. You don't look as much like a potato as I remember from a couple of days ago. Still a tiny little smidgen, though."

"'Smidgen', Tony? Really?" 

"Well that just settled it, Clint." Tony smiled widely and looked down at Erinna. "This baby girl just became her Uncle Tony's smidgen."

Clint pinched the bridge of his nose. "Shit."

*

"Mr. Barton?"

"Go ahead and call me Clint, Jarvis."

"As you wish, sir. You have guests who wish to come in, sir."

He looked over at Natasha, who was burping the baby. They had hoped for a nap since the there was no one there but them, but...

"We might as well, Clint. Maybe they won't stay long."

"Who is it, Jarvis?"

"Sir, it's Thor and Dr. Foster."

"We don't have to do this, sweetheart."

"We do sometime. They all just want to wish us well. Besides, I haven't seen Thor or Jane yet, and I'd like to see them."

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

She smiled tiredly. "I'll be fine."

"Jarvis, tell them I'll be at the door in just a moment." He walked over to her chair, bent down and kissed Erinna's head, then gave Natasha a soft, lingering kiss. "After they leave, you eat and go to bed. Okay? I'll fend off anyone else."

"Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Get the door, we're being rude."

Clint went to the door and came back with Thor and Jane, both smiling broadly. She never quite got used to the size difference between the two of them: Thor was huge and muscled - he _was_ a god, after all - and Jane was a dainty, perky brunette, more petite than Natasha. They were a truly oddly matched pair, but somehow they complimented each other perfectly.

"Ah, the young warrior has arrived home!"

Natasha smiled. "She's too young to do any fighting just yet, Thor."

"She will not always be a child. And when she is of an age, she will be the mightiest of warriors and conquer any foe she sets out to meet, real or imagined. I am sure of it. Her roots are deep and proud."

"Oh, Thor, she can be anything she wants," Jane admonished. "How are you feeling, Natasha?"

"Sore and tired. But I'll be back to myself soon...at least where the pain is concerned."

They chatted for a bit, and Clint noticed Thor kept looking at the baby and smiling. He puzzled it over a bit then interrupted the women, "Hey, Thor? You wanna hold Erinna?"

Thor looked elated, and Clint eased the baby from Natasha into Thor's massive arms. Erinna looked even tinier and more fragile swaddled there, but Thor was obviously comfortable and proud to be holding her. "I am pleased to be her 'uncle', as you say. I infer that this makes us brothers of a sort?"

Clint shifted a little. "Well, yeah. I suppose. We're a team, we all live together and fight together and place our lives in each others' hands all the time. It makes sense for us to be something like a family, you know? Besides," Clint looked uncomfortable, "My brother's kinda gone, and since yours is, too, you know..."

"I am honored to have you all as my brothers. And sister," Thor said, nodding a little towards Natasha. "A better Midgardian family I truly cannot imagine."

*  
Clint had gotten up to fix Natasha a meal while Thor and Jane were still there (Jane had taken the baby and was crooning softly while Thor looked on happily), when Jarvis interrupted to tell them that Pepper had sent dinner and it would be there in five minutes. The food arrived and Thor and Jane took that as their cue to leave. Clint and Natasha ate, Natasha fed Erinna, and then Clint deposited Natasha in the bed, taking the baby down the hall and away from her to allow her some quiet time to sleep. 

He was in his recliner with his feet propped up. Erinna was sleeping peacefully on his chest while some college football game went on in the background. Clint wasn't paying attention to the game, his focus was on the little bundle in a flowered gown curled on his chest. He had opened his shirt so that she was lying on his undershirt then laid her soft pink receiving blanket over her. Clint just reclined there, his hand supporting her bottom gently, watching her breathe and suck at nothing occasionally, thanking the God he'd never believed in for the miracle that was sleeping on him. He drifted in and out of sleep, content and smiling.

"Mr. Clint, sir?"

"Mmmph?  Yeah?" Clint started, causing Erinna to jump, but he shushed her and she quieted immediately. He marveled at how she seemed so easily soothed by him.

"Dr. Banner and Steve Rogers are here and requesting to visit. Shall I send them away?"

"No, no, it's fine. Will you unlock the door and let the them in? Let them know I'm in the living room and the baby's asleep."

"Yes, sir."

Clint heard the door open and fought the instinct to grab his glock, telling himself that these were his friends, he trusted them not to harm his family, he trusted Jarvis to not let untrustworthy people in his home. His fear abated when he heard Bruce's familiar voice calling out softly, "Hey, Hawk?"

Clint replied as loudly as he dared, "In here, Banner.” 

In just a second he saw Bruce Banner ducking his head around the corner, clutching a teddy bear in both hands anxiously. Cap followed closely behind, carrying a bouquet of flowers. Clint tamped down a quick stab of jealousy. “Hey, fellas. Come on in.” 

Bruce smiled, "Got company to watch the game, eh?"

Clint chuckled. "Something like that. I'm teaching her the basics. You guys have a seat, make yourselves at home. Grab a drink or some food if you want, you know where everything is."

They declined food, sitting on the couch comfortably. Both of them spent a great deal of time at Clint and Natasha’s place. Steve spoke for the first time, "So where's Nat?"

"Sleeping. She's had a hell of a few weeks and it ain't gonna get easier for a while."

Steve chuckled. "Well, you know we'll help her out any way we can. And you of course." 

"That's very kind of you, Cap." 

A muscle ticked in Clint's jaw, and Bruce didn't miss it. "That's an interesting bed you've got the baby sleeping on, Hawk, but she looks comfy."

Clint grinned and bent to kiss Erinna's head. "Well, I read in a bunch of those books that because babies can't see all that great they learn their environments by smell and hearing. They're born knowing their mom's smell and sound, but getting to know dad  takes a little work. So, we're getting to know Daddy, aren't we?" He kissed her again and rubbed her back softly. 

Bruce smiled. "You're talking about kangaroo care."

"Yeah, that's it."

"You're supposed to do that skin-to-skin, though."

"Hell, no! It's November in New York. She'd catch her death." Clint put his hand on her back protectively while he looked at Bruce as if he'd well and truly lost his mind, and Bruce stifled a laugh. "She seems to like me, though. She quiets down for me pretty well." 

Steve asked, "You getting the hang of everything?"

"I don't know, man, she's not quite 72 hours old yet. Ask me again in a couple of weeks and I can probably tell you. I can change a diaper, though, and Nat can feed her.”

"Hey, boys. I was starting to think you two had forgotten all about me."

Bruce and Steve jumped to their feet, walking to where Natasha stood in the doorway smiling. Bruce hugged her gently and presented her with the teddy bear. "For Erinna." 

"Aww, thank you, Bruce." She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek: Clint smiled. Bruce and Natasha had a special relationship - almost father/daughter - and he loved to see them interact. 

Steve stepped up and hugged her, kissing her on the cheek. Clint's eyes narrowed slightly. "Brought you flowers." She smiled, darting her eyes at Clint. 

Bruce butted in, seeing Clint's jaw twitch again. "We brought them for both of you ladies, but figured you would be the only one to enjoy them for now." He cast a look at Clint who didn't miss it. Clint kept his eyes on Steve as he leaned down to kiss Erinna again.

"Well, I thank both of you so much." Natasha, ever the actress, beamed at both of them, tossing Clint only the quickest of glances letting him know she hadn’t missed his discomfort. "Do you want anything? Can I fix you a drink?"

"No, no, you sit. We're leaving soon."

She walked slowly towards the couch. "I think I will sit. Having a baby's a bit rougher than I expected. Have you seen her? Or is her Daddy being a baby hog again?" She leaned over and planted a gentle kiss onto the baby's head as she passed then kissed Clint softly, smiling into the kiss.

His mood was improved when he grumbled, "I'm not hogging her. They haven't asked.”

“He was probably being a hog. He’s rather in love with his daughter, but the feeling does seem to be mutual.”

In the end, they both claimed she looked too comfortable with her Daddy to disturb her. Clint could tell that Natasha was sad that Bruce hadn't held her, and decided to mention it to him later. He couldn't be all that sorry, however, that Captain America wasn't going to be cradling his daughter just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the things I wrote into Clint and Natasha's relationship was a love of 80's comedies, Mel Brooks movies, Christopher Guest movies...the movies I like. 'Raising Arizona' is one of my favorites. I promise to try not to be _too_ obnoxious. No more than Clint would be.


	3. Meet the Press

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The press catches wind of Clint and Natasha's wedding and baby, and they finally have to come clean.

Clint was in the kitchen making coffee. He and Natasha had fallen into something of a pattern over the last three weeks, and when Erinna got them up for her 7am feeding, it was his job to get coffee and breakfast together while Natasha got the baby fed and back to sleep. Neither of them were sleeping well, but they hoped the end was in sight. Most babies started sleeping through the night by six to eight weeks or so. They didn’t have a lot longer to go, they could make it. With coffee. Lots of coffee.

His phone rang and he snatched it up, hoping to catch it before it woke Erinna. 

“Yeah?” 

It was Tony. “Mornin’, Birdie.”

“Mornin’, Tony. What’s up?”

“You checked your email yet?”

“No, not just yet.”

“You might want to do that.”

Something about Tony’s tone was off, and Clint felt a tingling of dread. The bouncy sarcasm was there, but it sounded different. Forced. Like he was trying to soften a blow. Clint didn't like it and his eyes darted towards the living room where Natasha and Erinna were. “Why?”

“Well, it would appear that the gossip rags have gotten a whiff of you and Nat’s real relationship and…well, just read it. Then call me back, we need to talk strategy.”

 _Welp. That explained that._ “Fuck. Natasha’s going to shit a brick.”

“Just call me back. We’ll handle it. It’ll all be fine.”

Clint ended the call and scrolled to his email, opening the most recent one from Tony. The subject line read ‘Funny? - Y/N’. Something told him this wasn’t going to be funny. At all. The paparazzi had been a thorn in their side, but not terrible. They were much more interested in Tony and Steve, sometimes Thor. They hadn’t paid a lot of attention to he or Natasha, and she’d spent her entire pregnancy in the tower, only venturing out a handful of times in disguise. She was not going to be pleased at the thought of being confined to the tower any more.

“Hey, Nat? You wanna come here a minute?” 

She came around the corner and had a seat on the barstool. “Yeah?”

“Stark just called.”

She took the coffee he slid across the counter to her. Two creams, no sugar. Perfect. “He wanted to talk Thanksgiving?”

“No. Apparently there’s a news story about us, he sent the link. A gossip column wrote a story about us.”

“Us? As in me and you?”

“Yes.”

She took a sip of her coffee and thought for a second. She looked unconcerned but he knew her much, much better than that. “There have rumors about us before.”

“Well, the thing is, Stark said to call him back when we were done so we could do damage control or whatever.”

Natasha froze. “Just what’s in this story?”

“I don’t know.”

“Read it.”

Clint clicked the link. “Headline - _Lady Avenger Ties Knot, Expecting Little Bundle_. Well, that's not so bad, is it?”

Natasha didn't answer him. “How old is this article?”

“It’s dated today.”

“Go ahead and read it.”

“ _Sexy Avenger Natasha Romanov, 29, ‘The Black Widow’, is reported to have recently married and is now expecting her first child this winter. The lucky father and groom is widely believed to be Clint ‘Hawkeye’ Barton, 47,_ ’ - Hey! What the fuck! I'm not 47!” Natasha snorted. “Assholes.” He kept reading. “‘ _who has been long-rumored as her love interest.’_ ”

“ _Love interest._ ” Natasha snorted again. “Well, they’re not wrong about that, I suppose.”

“Ha, ha.” Clint gave her a disgruntled look. He went back to the article, “ _’According to sources close to the couple, Barton proposed over a romantic dinner in May and the pair married in Jamaica in August.’_ ” He shook his head. “Everything about that sentence is wrong.” 

“Sounds romantic, though.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “I married you twice. Don’t tell me you want a third wedding, I’m running out of types of jewelry to give you.” She quirked her mouth a little and he looked at the phone again. _“‘Another source claims that The Black Widow found out that she was pregnant shortly before she was married, and is expecting a baby boy sometime this winter.’_ Yeah, no. She’s a girl, and she’s already here.” 

He paused for a moment. “Oh hell, here it is. ‘ _This reporter was able to obtain a photocopy of a marriage certificate issued to Natasha Romanov; however, the photocopy is of poor quality and the name of the groom cannot be completely confirmed. The source at the registrar’s office, however, signed an affidavit saying that the groom was, in fact, ‘the Hawkeye' Clint Barton. We wish the newlyweds good luck with their new family, and you know we’ll bring you all the details as we have them!’_ ”

Natasha and Clint looked at each other. “That was entertaining until the very last line.”

He nodded at her. “So what do we do?”

She put her thumbs on her temples and massaged her forehead. “I don’t know. I mean, they got almost all of the details wrong, but they _know_ now. And they pretty much said they’re going to be watching us, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Should we just tell everyone?”

 _Yes. Please._ “Fuck if I know.”

Natasha worried her lip for a minute looking at nothing to her left. “Goddamn paparazzi.” She wrapped one hand around her coffee mug and stroked her forehead with her other hand. Clint watched her carefully. He could see her putting up her emotional walls and cursed the bastard reporters who had exposed them this way. He had known that there was no way to keep Erinna a secret, but he had hoped to reveal her on their own terms, when Natasha was ready. She wasn't ready now, she had been blindsided. Natasha tended to shut down when confronted with emotional situations she wasn’t prepared for, and it had taken him years to coax her out fully. This could go very badly. He had to keep her with him. 

He walked around the counter and sat on the barstool next to hers, taking her hands into his. “Sweetheart, we knew something like this was going to happen. You know I’m not going to let anything happen to you or Erinna. Tony seems to have a plan, let’s see what he has to say. He’s been dealing with this mess his whole life, he’ll know what to do.” Clint reached over and tipped up her chin with a crooked finger. “Hey. Nat. I’m actually a little excited about this.”

She looked at him, confusion and something like despair etched on her brow. “I can’t imagine why.”

“Because for the first time in five years, we won’t have to hide what we are to each other. Everyone can know. I’ve wanted the world to know we were together since that first night, but we had to keep everything a secret. I’ve understood why, but now we can be honest. No more hiding. I don't have to take my ring off when I go out, you don’t either. We can just be married.”

She lowered her head again. “I don’t know how to do anything but hide.”

He leaned over, whispering a kiss onto her forehead. “I know. I’m not good at it either.” He brushed his lips against her cheek, bending low to claim her lips in a feather-light, sweet kiss.  “But we’ll figure it out, okay? Trust me.”

*

 

Tony and Pepper came into the large office off the conference room where the press conference was being held. Clint and Natasha sat waiting, both extremely nervous. Natasha had labored over what to wear, probably as some sort of subconscious distraction technique to cope with the anxiety. The world saw her as a hardened assassin, so normally she would wear something that looked...badass. But she was about to announce that she was a wife and mother, she felt like she needed to appear just a bit softer when she was talking about the two loves of her life. In the end, she opted for jeans, a slim fitting v-neck black sweater and black high-heeled boots. She accessorized just a bit and ended up feeling like she’d hit a nice balance between ‘sexy, dangerous spy’ and ‘newlywed mom in love’.

Clint, of course, had no problems getting dressed. He threw on some jeans, a t-shirt, and whatever shirt looked clean over it. Good to go. Since he was going to be on camera, he tucked in the shirt. 

Tony shook hands with Clint, uncharacteristically formal. He spoke to Clint and Natasha, who both looked a little pale. "You guys ready?"

"Not really," Clint answered. Natasha sought out his hand and laced his fingers with hers.

Tony sat down close to them as Pepper peeped out of the door to the crowd. Tony looked at them earnestly. ”Guys, look. I wouldn't steer you wrong here. I wouldn't put you or Erinna in danger. This is the safest way I know to handle this. Stating the truth and making the level of security around her crystal clear is the the only real choice here.” 

"Are we late?" Bruce and Steve walked in, followed closely by Thor. 

"No, you're right on time. Where's Sam?"

"He's on the way."

"Good. I want to make a strong presence." Tony turned back to Clint and Natasha. "Nobody is going to dare fuck with you or Smidgen with Earth's mightiest heroes standing up daring them to lay one finger on one hair of her pretty head. Okay? We are going to keep her safe. She’s _your_ daughter, but you’re not the only ones that love her, okay?“

Clint nodded. ”It's just..." Natasha started, "I've lived my whole life in secret. When everything went up in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files, it took the Red Room all of one day to find me and try to kill me. Now I'm telling the world about my weakness. And my infant daughter. I don't like this."

Bruce came to sit by her on her other side and put his arm around her. She leaned into him for a moment, accepting his comfort; Bruce was the only person besides Clint she accepted comfort from. "Natasha, you're showing them your underbelly, and I understand how scary that is. I probably know better than anyone how it feels to have your vulnerability exposed for the whole world to see. But you're walking out there with six layers of armor. We are _not_ going to let anything happen to you, Erinna, or Clint. Okay? Keeping the three of you safe is high on my personal priority list."

She fought tears and nodded into his shoulder, sitting up and looking at Clint. He nodded at her, squeezing her hand and smiling. Sam rushed into the office, looking around hurriedly. "Oh good, y'all are still here. I was afraid I'd come in and y'all would be out there already."

"No, we waited for you, big man. Couldn't go out there with just one of our birds.” Steve clapped him on the shoulder.

Tony stood up and looked around. "Right then, are we ready? Birdie? You ready? Nat? You good to go? Good. Let's do it.”

Clint kissed her gently. “We’ve got this. I’ve got you. Come on.” He watched as Natasha squared her shoulders and shut herself down, preparing for what was to come.

*

Pepper opened the door and they filed inside, Sam, Steve, Bruce, and  Thor walking in and forming something like a wall behind the podium. Tony, Clint and Natasha came in behind them, Tony taking the podium, Clint and Natasha standing just behind him. Clint took Natasha's hand when they got to their place, lacing his fingers with hers. She looked up at him, quirking her lip up in a quick half smile before squaring her shoulders and looking at the back of Tony’s head. 

Pepper began. "Mr. Stark is going to make a statement, then two of the Avengers are going to make a statement, and then The Avengers as a whole will take questions. We will not take questions until specified, they will decline whatever questions they wish. Mr. Stark?"

"Thank you, Ms. Potts, and may I say you look ravishing today?" Pepper rolled her eyes. Tony looked at the crowd of reporters. “Hello, New York. Haven’t spoken with you in a bit. We have a couple of matters to discuss with you, and they’re rather important. 

First, it has come to our attention recently that reporters have been digging into our personal lives, looking for a story and hanging around outside of Avengers Tower, hoping to catch juicy photographs. I just want to get this out of the way first, before another word is spoken; if I find out that anyone is breaking any sort of law in order to obtain a story on one of my team, or any member of my team feels harassed in their daily lives by a reporter, the responsible party and the publication they work for will be slapped with a lawsuit of such magnitude that they will be unable to process it."

Several of the reporting staff looked at each other incredulously. _Is that even legal?_

"Now. Two members of my team would like to make a brief statement, and then we will open the floor to questions. Nat? Birdie?"

Clint kept from rolling his eyes with great difficulty as he stepped to the podium with Natasha, letting go of her hand and placing his hand on the small of her back. They'd rehearsed this. She was going to speak, he would fill in if she faltered. The press was more interested in her, anyway, and he was fine with that. 

"It has been reported that Clint Barton - Hawkeye - and I married in Jamaica late this past summer and that I am pregnant with a baby boy, due this winter. Both of those stories are false. The truth is," she looked up briefly, he gave her a small smile and a small, gentle circle on her back, "Clint and I married in secret two and a half years ago." An excited murmur went through the crowd and a couple of flashes went off. "The marriage was voided on a technicality, and we remarried in June in Central Park." More murmuring, a couple more flashes. "At the time of our remarriage in June I was pregnant, but am no longer. I gave birth three weeks ago to a healthy baby girl." 

The room exploded in flashbulbs and questions. Clint and Natasha met each other's eyes quickly, anxious but betraying no outward emotion. Tony stepped up to the podium beside them. "Hey. It's not question time yet, guys. Cool it." The roar quieted to a murmur.

Natasha looked at Tony, who nodded reassuringly. Clint slipped his arm around her waist and squeezed. She continued, "We want to give our daughter the most normal life possible, although we understand that there is going to be a great deal of interest in her. To that end, we have decided to do a photo shoot with a magazine - not yet chosen - in the hopes that this will satisfy the public's curiosity about our daughter."

Clint leaned over and spoke. "To sum it up, we want to be able to take our kid to the park without worrying that someone's going to jump out and scare her, so please leave us alone." Natasha nodded. The reporters started yelling questions again. Clint involuntarily pulled Natasha closer.

"Okay, I had one more brief statement and then we'll get to the questions." Tony stepped back to the podium, Clint and Natasha stepped to the side. Natasha looked over at Bruce, who winked at her. She gave him a tiny quirk of her lips. 

"This baby girl has very quickly captured all of our hearts. She is the little Princess of Avengers Tower, we all adore her and we are all extremely protective of her. Any threat of harm to her or harassment of her will be answered not only by her parents, who are lethal on their own, but by Thor, the Hulk, Captain America, and our newest member, the Falcon - not to mention Iron Man. She has some very devoted and dangerous uncles. And one uncle that happens to be very good looking." A few members of the press corps tittered. Clint looked down at Natasha, and her face was frozen. She had braced herself. "Now, questions?"

The room exploded.

"What's the baby's name?"

"How much did she weigh?"

"When was she born?”

“Where was she born?”

Natasha stepped forward a bit. "She was born on Halloween. She weighed 6lbs7ozs and is a healthy little girl. We will not be releasing her name.”

Tony leaned over. "We just call her Smidgen."

Clint clenched his jaw, closed his eyes and shook his head. "Dammit, Tony..."

Tony was almost jubilant. “What?"

Another flurry of yelling from the reporters, then one won out. ”Natasha and Clint, how long have you been together?" 

Clint leaned over, closer to the microphone. "We've been working together as partners since late spring 2006. We began a romantic relationship in November of 2009, exactly five years ago next week." 

"You remember the date, Birdie?" Tony was audible over the reporters, and the smirk was clear in his voice. Clint ignored him. Natasha looked up at her husband, her eyes softening a little but otherwise betraying no emotion - still hiding behind her wall.

"Are you Natasha Barton now?"

"I took my husband's name, yes. I am Natasha Romanov Barton."

"Hawkeye, were you concerned about marrying the Black Widow, given her name?"

"You mean the widow part? Nah. If she was going to kill me, she'd have done it a long time ago. I think I'm good."

A low rumble of chuckles, Natasha smiled perfunctorily.

"To the rest of the Avengers: how do you like having a baby around?"

Steve jumped on the question. "I love it. She's a sweet baby, and I'm looking forward to watching her run around the tower as she grows up."

The reporters chuckled and Clint forced himself to smile a little. Natasha slipped her arm around his waist reassuringly and he relaxed. Her face betrayed nothing, but he was glad to know that she hadn’t completely shut down.

"Dr. Banner, do you find it too stressful having a crying baby around?" 

"Not in the least. As Cap said, she a very sweet baby and a joy to be around. I'm very fond of her."

"Thor? Falcon? Any comments?" 

"She's a doll and I can't wait to take her for her first flight." Natasha glared at Sam and he chuckled unrepentantly.

Thor puffed with pride. ”A more beautiful baby I have not seen on this planet. I am pleased to call her my niece.”

"Do you like kids, Thor?"

"I do. I like children very much, and am excited for young -" Bruce elbowed him, "uh, _Smidgen_ to grow a bit older so that I may teach her some Asgardian games."

Clint closed his eyes and muttered, " _Smidgen._ Tony Stark, I'm going to kill you." The mics picked this up and the crowd laughed. Tony grinned mischievously.

"Clint, Natasha, was this pregnancy a surprise?"

“It was very much a surprise,” said Natasha.

"Were you happy?" 

Clint answered "yes" at the same time Natasha answered "no." They looked at each other, Clint smiling, her lip quirking the tiniest bit. Clint said, "You first."

"I wasn't overjoyed with the prospect of motherhood. It had to grow on me. Now it has, and I love her more than anything."

"I was thrilled from the get-go and worship my daughter. Who is not named ‘Smidgen”, by the way.” Clint cut his eyes at Tony, who laughed.

"Clint, how is your relationship with Natasha? Do you feel like there's too much of an age difference between you two for you to be compatible?”

“I'd say we're pretty damned compatible." Natasha gave a small smile. "Our relationship is as good or better than anyone else’s I’ve ever known. We’re very happy and love each other very much. As for our ages, that's something else you got wrong. I'm not 47, I'm 41. And as far as the difference...it's never bothered us. We've always known about it, from day one in the nine years we've known each other. I was 32 when we met, she was 20. It doesn't bother me and it doesn't seem to bother her; if it has she hasn't mentioned it. She seems to love me anyway." He looked over at her and smiled openly. _"That's_ what I'll never understand. Why she chose me. I mean, she married me twice." The crowd tittered and Natasha smiled again, not looking up. 

"Are you concerned about raising your baby in a dangerous environment?"

Natasha stiffened. She knew that was a jab at Bruce and wasn't going to have it. Clint knew it too but asked, hoping he was wrong; "How do you mean 'unsafe'? She lives with superheroes. That's the safest environment I can imagine."

"Well, some might say that is exactly what makes it unsafe. If those superpowers got out of hand for some reason..."

Natasha took a step forward, her mouth open with an angry reply but Clint pulled her back. Bruce put both hands on her shoulders soothingly, pulling her closer to him and bending down to whisper into her ear to calm her down. Clint answered, "We are not at all worried about her safety amongst the Avengers. There is no one here who would ever hurt her, for any reason, ever. All seven of us are completely devoted to her safety and protection. And we all resent the implication about one of our brethren."

Pepper stepped up and said, "One more question, I think, and let's end it on a high note, shall we?"

"Clint, Natasha, do you plan to keep working with the Avengers? Natasha, will you continue to be the Black Widow now that you're a wife and mother?"

Natasha stepped forward, still angry but under control. She had shut down again. "I am still the Black Widow. We are both Avengers. As long as there's a need, we'll fill it."


	4. Getting Back To Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha has been out of work since April and completely engrossed in pregnancy and new baby. She's completely exhausted but past ready to get back to work, so she and Clint hire a babysitter and she very slowly dips her toe back into normal life.

“I've got a surprise for you."

He sounded like a kid tasked with a secret by someone who knew perfectly well it wouldn't be kept. Natasha fully expected to see him rocking back and forth from heel to toe and the thought made her smile. Kissing her daughter's soft head, she laid Erinna in the soft, cup-like seat of the swing, buckled her in and laid the pink gingham microfiber blanket over her. She pressed a couple of buttons on the top of the swing and watched to make sure the swing started, not fully trusting the sounds it made until she saw it in motion. “You do?"

"Yep." 

Satisfied the swing was working, she turned around, stretching and cracking her back. Clint wasn't bouncing, he was leaning on one shoulder in the doorway, his arms crossed across his chest and his legs crossed at the ankle. He may have sounded like an excited kid, but oh, how he looked like a gorgeous, sexy, full-grown man. A man she was still just as head-over-heels in love with as she had been when he kissed her all those years ago in Jamaica.

She walked over to him, smiling, and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He stood straight to accommodate her and wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close. It felt so good to relax into him for just a few moments, just so damned good. She hadn't had more than three hours of unbroken sleep in the four weeks since Erinna was born, and the strain was getting to her. Natasha knew that the baby would start sleeping through the night soon - at least longer intervals - but the lack of sleep was wearing her down and she felt like she was losing it slowly. 

Clint stood with her, embracing her, allowing her to lean on him and rest. He knew she was miserable, thought he knew why and wanted to help. He hoped he was doing the right thing…he thought he was but he just never knew.

"You gonna tell me what it is? Or am I going to live in suspense?"

"No, I'm here to tell you. Pepper is going to be here in fifteen minutes."

She looked at him tiredly. "That's not all that surprising. Pepper comes by at least twice, three times a week."

"Pepper is staying while we leave."

Natasha let go of his waist and took a couple of steps back, her eyes locked with his. "Where are we going?"

Clint looked relaxed and his lip quirked up a little, as if he were shyly presenting her with flowers he'd picked, when he said, "Floor 38. The doctor said you could exercise after four weeks, so I'm taking you sparring." Natasha stood for a second, still looking in his eyes, her face completely still. "That is, if you -"

Her face crumpled. She backed into the chair near her, sitting down hard. She buried her face in her hands and cried. Clint stood dumbfounded for just a moment, then dropped to his knees in front of her, searching for her face. 

"Sweetheart, what did I do? What's wrong?"

"I really, really want to go sparring." 

He could barely hear her through her tears. "So, why can't we go?"

"I'm too tired to go, Clint! I haven't been on the mat since March and I'm dying to go, but I just can't because..." She let out a sob and he pulled her out of the chair, sitting in the chair himself and pulling her into his lap: the position they always took when she needed to be soothed and comforted. They found a comfortable position, her head on his chest, ear over his heart. 

"Nat, sweetheart, what is it that you need? Tell me, and I'll make sure you get it." He kissed the top of her head. "Just name it." 

"I need to sleep. I need to be around adults. I need to get back to work. I need to spar. I need time with you. But more than anything, I just need to sleep." She let out a smaller sob. "At night I'm up every three hours, and during the day I try to nap when she sleeps but you're not there, you’ve gone to work and I have a hard time."

He hugged her close. It touched him that even as exhausted as she was, even dead on her feet, she didn't sleep well without him. He kissed her hair again.

"Okay, sweetheart. How about this. You have some spare milk, right? Ready to go?" She nodded. "Okay. When Pepper gets here, I'm going to help her get set up with the baby in the common room." Natasha raised her face to look at him and started to protest. His voice took on a placating tone. "Just basic stuff. The pack-n-play, the bouncer, the portable swing. She can watch the baby there. I'm going to put you in the bed and lay beside you until you wake up."

Natasha looked up at him. "But you have to work. And you’ve been sleeping at night some.”

"Doesn't matter. You think I'll turn down a chance to hold my beautiful wife?" He bent and kissed her softly. "If I can't sleep, I'll read or something. But I won't leave you until you wake up, okay?"

"I love you, Clint."

He smiled and hugged her close. "I love you, too, sweetheart. I've got to get you rested so I can get you on the mat."

*

"I'm ready to go back to work, Clint. I'm past ready."

"Well, good. I've missed you."

"Who's going to keep Erinna while we're gone?"

Clint looked down at the baby sleeping on his chest. This had become a nightly ritual: after dinner and her evening feeding, Erinna would sleep on Clint's chest so Natasha could have some time to herself. Usually she showered or read or anything she couldn't do with the baby attached to her. Clint sat in his favorite chair with the TV on, stroking Erinna's back or head, treasuring her. All three of them enjoyed the downtime, and kept it pretty sacred. It was a time for quiet and easy relaxation. Tonight, however, Natasha wanted to talk.

 _Who's going to keep Erinna?_ He felt like a dumbass for not thinking of it sooner. Who _was_ going to keep the baby?

"I don't know."

"I don't think I can leave her with a stranger."

"No, me either."

"So, what do we do?"

"Hell, Tasha, I don't know. I hadn't thought about this, it hadn't occurred to me. Opposite shifts?"

"We can do that, but you know we're more effective together. We need to work together to get the best out of each other.”

"I'm at a loss. I guess we'll have to advertise and we'll trade shifts until we get comfortable enough to leave Erinna with them."

“Well, I've had an idea."

"Yeah?"

"Darcy."

He looked at her for a minute. "Darcy Lewis? Jane’s friend?”

"Yes. She doesn't have a job, she's good with Erinna, she could live here in the tower, we have room in case she needs to stay, she knows everyone around here so if she needed help she would know who to turn to. We know her, I've spent a fair amount of time with her when she's been with Jane and Pepper. She's easygoing and likable. I'm comfortable enough to leave the baby with her for an hour or so now, maybe to go train or to a meeting or something. We could trust-build. What do you say?"

Clint looked deep in thought. "I don't know. She seems flighty and silly to me."

"Not so much flighty and silly as she's just funny. Her sense of humor is kind of disarming. It can be inappropriate at times, but I don't think it presents a threat. I think she'd be responsible."

Clint's brows furrowed. "I just don't know, Nat. She's practically a stranger."

"Look, I'm ready to go sparring soon. Like, yesterday. Why don't we see if she'll watch Erinna while we go? We'll only be gone an hour or so, and Jarvis can alert us if there's a problem. We'll see how it goes from there. Okay?"

"If you swear you think it’ll be okay, then I’ll trust you.” He sighed. “You know I can’t say no to you.”

She bent over and kissed him, slowly teasing his lower lip with her teeth then pulled back, smiling at him - the special smile she reserved for only him. "Good, because as of yesterday I'm 100% cleared to resume all normal activities, and I've got one in particular I'd like to resume. So what do you say you lay her down in the pack-n-play and come with me?"

“Absolutely."

*

Two days later, Clint had just laid the baby in her bouncer to sleep when Jarvis spoke up. “Mr. Clint, sir, Darcy Lewis is requesting entrance.” 

“On my way.”

He went to the door and opened it, revealing a dark-haired girl in a long skirt, jacket and a hat that looked to be made of some sort of velvet. A messenger bag was slung across her shoulders, and she smiled almost lazily, looking surprised. “Hey, I was expecting Natasha.”

“Hey, Darcy. She’s in back getting ready. Come on in.”

He opened the door and let her in, watching her pull her messenger bag off and toss it casually on the counter of the kitchen, then take her jacket off and hang it on the hook. Apparently Nat really _had_ been spending time with her. 

“So, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what to call you.”

Clint blinked. “Huh?”

“Yeah, you know, everyone calls you something different. I haven’t been around you much at all and I’m just not sure how familiar we are or what you prefer or whatever. I don’t wanna go offending an assassin, because that would suck.”

Clint blinked several times. _This is the kid Nat wants to watch Erinna?_

“So, like, should I call you Mr. Barton? Or Hawkeye? or Clinton? Or Clint? Or you know, CB or something? I dunno. You call it.”

“Clint is fine. I’m Hawkeye at work.”

“You got it. If you’re armed, I’ll give you your proper due.”

He had no idea if he was amused or alarmed. 

“Is that something you wear a lot?” She gave a slight, mock-inquisitive smile and indicated his shoulder.

“Huh?” He looked over at his shoulder and grabbed up, it was a burp cloth. “Oh. Yeah. Well, that’s the height of fashion these days. All the cool kids are wearing them.” 

“I’ll have to go get a few.” She smiled in earnest.

“So, uh, have you kept a lot of kids?” 

“Oh, yeah. I nannied for a while, and babysat all through high school.”

“Even a baby as young as Erinna? She’s only four weeks.”

“The youngest I’ve sat before was six weeks, but I don’t imagine two weeks will make that huge of a difference. It’s not like she’s going to need anything different now than she will in two weeks, right? I think I’m good.”

“Have you been around her before?”

“Erinna? Yeah, she’s a doll. She looks like you.”

Clint thought he just might like this girl after all.

“Let me show you around.”

*

Natasha walked into the living room to find Clint giving Darcy an exhaustive description on how to change Erinna’s diaper and rolled her eyes. Darcy, to her credit, was standing by with her hands clasped in front of her, pretending to pay attention. “Clint. She’s changed Erinna before, baby. She knows where everything is. She’s fine. It’s only for an hour, relax.” She kissed him lightly. “Hey, Darcy.” Natasha smiled at Darcy. “I really appreciate you doing this.”

“Hey, it’s no sweat. I’m glad to help.”

“I’m almost ready to go. I can’t find my good wraps or my mat shoes. They’ve sifted to the bottom of some closet in the last nine months.” She went off to look, and Erinna woke up crying. Clint dove in her direction.

“No, please, let me.”

Darcy grabbed a burp cloth and slung it over her shoulder then knelt in front of the bouncer, unsnapping the buckles that held Erinna in. She pulled her out, clucking and cooing soothing nonsense. Darcy lifted the baby to her shoulder and stood up, bouncing and swaying gently, still cooing. Erinna calmed quickly and Clint was impressed despite himself. He had never seen her calm down for anyone else so quickly, only he (and sometimes Nat) could calm her down quicker. He smiled and crossed his arms, feeling the tension ebb somewhat.

“You can tell Jarvis if you need us and he'll let us know, but I don't think you'll have to. I think you'll be just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that ride at the carnival that's like the magic teacups, but it has backs on the "teacups" so they look more like giant seashells and it takes you slightly up and down in a wave pattern as it goes around and around so it leaves you more disoriented? It was always called a tilt-a-whirl at the county fair when I was growing up. 
> 
> Emotionally, the first 6-8 weeks after having a baby is like being on a tilt-a-whirl that you can't get off of, and the guy at the controls fucking hates you. You aren't sleeping and hormones are surging and ebbing, you love your new baby but you kind of resent it for changing everything about your life...it's a really weird time in your life. Beautiful and wonderful, but really, really hard. And it is absolutely NOT for the faint of heart, and I've seen some (not all) of the toughest, most unshakable women I knew laid low by the first two months of motherhood. It's very important at this juncture of your life that you've picked someone who truly loves you and has a ton of patience as your partner, because they're almost certain to see you at your worst. Thankfully, Clint and Natasha love each other and have been together a long time. That counts. Also, Natasha got most of her angst out during her pregnancy (other fic).
> 
> I just wanted to throw that out there. Because reasons.
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/caedmonfaith


	5. Merry Christmas, Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is chafing under the confines of new motherhood, and the residents of the Tower are competing to spoil Smidgen.

Christmas in the tower was usually a low-key affair. None of the Avengers had any family to speak of, so they had all sort of fallen into the tradition of a big semi-formal meal together as a family on Christmas afternoon, after a relaxed party-type get together the night before on Christmas Eve. Clint and Natasha had spent every Christmas together watching movies and eating Chinese takeout since they had known each other, and hadn't given up that tradition when they moved to the tower; they just ate earlier in the day. All in all, Christmas was something that everyone enjoyed and looked forward to somewhat, but it wasn't a huge deal.

Until Erinna.

She had truly become the little apple of everyone's eye, and all the residents of Avengers tower seemed to be in a competition to buy her the greatest gift. Natasha tried to explain to all of them that she was still an infant and couldn't play with any of it for a while to come, but they all ignored her.  She tried to get Clint to intervene, but he wasn't all that effective (she secretly wondered if he wasn't trying very hard). She reasoned with them that if they went overboard now, there wouldn't be anything to buy her later, and they'd have to start giving everything away because she'd be a spoiled brat. That slowed them down. Somewhat. It kept Tony from buying her a motorized, ride-on car, anyway.

There had been much to-do about decorating this year, when in past years it had been enough just to toss a tree in the corner of the common room. Now that Erinna was here, though, it felt like a family. The Avengers hung out together more, they confided in each other more...it was like Erinna's birth and the vow that they had taken to protect her had cemented them all together - there was a sense of permanence now that she was in their lives that hadn't been there before. This tiny little pink bundle had stirred up a lot of changes around the tower that nobody really expected. Nobody seemed to mind, and truly, everyone seemed happy about the fact that they had family at Christmas.

The huge tree in the common room had been expertly decorated by Pepper and Jane, and then redecorated by everyone else as they added things they liked to it. It was a glorious hodgepodge of everyone's likes, interests, favorite colors, and a generous smattering of pink "baby's first" ornaments. Brightly colored wrapped packages piled and spread under the tree until they presented a tripping hazard. It was easy to pick out who's packages were who's. Tony's gifts were beautifully, expertly wrapped in foiled paper with elaborate bows - wrapped by someone _other_ than Tony. Bruce's gifts were festive, but haphazardly wrapped, some not fully covered or patched, most with stick-on bows. Steve and Sam's gifts had precision edges and corners: a remnant of years of military training, she supposed. Thor's gifts were wrapped normally, Jane having done it. Natasha and Clint...well, their gifts were all in bags. She didn't have time to wrap anything this year, she'd barely had time to shop. Clint wouldn't know what to do with wrapping paper if his life depended on it, so the bags got employed. Nobody minded. 

It was Christmas Eve and, as it always had been, the Bartons' apartment became the place to hang out until the party that evening. In the beginning, it had just...been that way. Natasha had worked to make her and Clint's apartment feel comfortable and home-like and all of the things she never had, and the other guys on the team, especially Bruce and Steve, gravitated towards that (and her). She and Clint - who had never really had friends in their lives due to the nature of their jobs - had each wanted the other to have friends for different reasons, so they had maintained something of an "open door" policy. Both had gotten their wish; Clint and Natasha were well-loved members of the team, and the Barton's place was used to congregate almost as much as the common room. In recent weeks, though, Clint and Natasha's place had had much less traffic. They had not asked for it to be that way, they just figured that everyone decided the new family needed time to get adjusted to each other. Natasha both loved and hated this, she was incredibly lonely.

Today was Christmas Eve, though, and her house was full again. Natasha was thrilled. 

Natasha had always been a loner - it came with the territory when you were a spy, and she had had the desire for attachments beaten out of her as a child - but she had come to be attached to the Avengers and their significant others against her will; now they were the family she never had. She had missed them terribly in the last several months. They had jobs, they had lives, they had to go on ops. She knew that. At least when she had been pregnant, she and been able to go to the common room and watch a movie with them, or they would come have dinner with Clint and Natasha…she couldn’t work and be as close as she normally would, but they could maintain some normalcy. Now that Erinna was here, she felt completely stuck at home. She was going to work for a few hours a week and would be working more after the first of the year, but that was _work._ There wasn't any time to do anything that wasn't work before she had to come home and be Mommy again. Clint found her one afternoon, a week before Christmas, crying in Erinna’s nursery rocking the baby as she slept. 

“Sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

“I miss you. I miss Bruce. I miss Pepper. I miss Tony. I miss everybody. I never get to see anyone anymore. I’m so excited about Christmas that I can’t stand myself, but it’s only one day, and then it goes back to me being here most of the time and not being able to leave because Erinna is here and she has to be here. I didn’t think I would be this tied down. I mean, I knew she would tie me down some, but I never knew I would be on house arrest.” Her shoulders shook with controlled sobs, and a tear fell onto Erinna’s pink blanket. 

Clint took the baby, laid her in the crib, and took Natasha into the next room, lying on the bed with her until she fell asleep. When he was sure he was asleep, he sent Tony a text message and set a ball in motion. 

~*~

From their very first Christmas together, when Natasha was still a hostile in the custody of SHIELD, she and Clint had spent Christmas together eating Chinese food and watching 80’s comedies. They had only missed one Christmas in nine years and didn’t want to break that streak, even if Pepper did present a mouthwatering meal on Christmas afternoon. So, in deference to her, they moved their tradition to Christmas Eve after prepping for their traditional Christmas Eve party that night. 

At almost eight weeks, Erinna was smiling purposefully now; she smiled all the time at Clint and Natasha. She gave smiles to Darcy (who was keeping her for up to three or four hours a couple of times times a week now, she was going to start keeping the baby regularly after first of the year), and occasionally would give smiles to other visitors. Thor was especially able to coax a smile out of her, much to his delight. 

Clint had told Natasha to take the night off from being Mommy, that he would handle the baby so she could enjoy being with everyone. She did fairly well with this task, and Clint only had to take the baby from her and chase her off twice. Everyone enjoyed holding Erinna, cooing and attempting to win smiles from her. Tony and Thor were reluctant to give her up once they had her, and Clint had to pull her away from both of them. 

Her bedtime came, and he brought out a bottle Natasha had prepared earlier, settling into a chair where he could still talk to Bruce and Pepper as he fed Erinna. He put her to his shoulder, eliciting a burp, then laid her back on his chest to sleep before he put her in her bassinet for the night.

The party was breaking up, Natasha hugging goodbyes and telling everyone she would see them the next day. Clint got up and nodded his head instead of waving, kissing cheeks where appropriate, telling everyone Merry Christmas. He left to put Erinna to sleep in her bassinet, then came back down the hall. 

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” He stepped up behind her, slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her close.

“Merry Christmas, yourself.” She turned to face him, then stood on tiptoe to kiss him slowly. “Tonight was wonderful. I really needed this.”

“I know you did. I’m glad you had a good time.” He kissed her quickly. “So…do you want to open your Christmas present, or do you want help cleaning up?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Aren’t we supposed to wait until tomorrow?”

He pulled her flush against him. “Sweetheart,” he was smiling in a way that made her feel fluttery, “I can promise you that you won’t want to get this kind of gift around anyone else.”

~*~

“Clint, we’re late! It’s 1:10, we were supposed to be eating Christmas lunch with everyone ten minutes ago! And I’m not even done packing up her stuff!”

“Sweetheart, don’t worry about her stuff, just grab her diaper bag and we’ll go in just a minute. I’m looking for my…”

Natasha switched the baby from one shoulder to the other. “ _Clint._ We are _late_. And I need you to break down the swing, you’re the one that knows how.”

“I’m telling you, Nat, she’s going to get passed around. We don’t need it.”

“Fine! If no one wants to hold her while they eat then you can hold her and miss Christmas lunch, how about that?”

“My, but you’re testy. I might just keep your present after all and not give it to you this afternoon, if you’re going to be a Grinch…”

 _”Clinton Francis Barton, as God is my witness…_ ”

He chuckled, “Okay, okay. I’m done harasssing you. Jarvis?”

“Yes, Mr. Clint?”

“Will you call up to the common room and let them know that we are on our way, to please have everything ready?”

“As you wish, sir.”

Natasha looked at him suspiciously. “Have what ready?”

He smiled at her innocently. “Lunch, naturally.”

~*~

Something was up. Natasha knew Clint like the back of her hand, and he was up to something. She didn’t know what, but he had a lousy poker face and she had a feeling he’d made her late on purpose. 

When the elevator dinged Clint swept his arm outward, bowing. “After you, my ladies.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him, smiling a little at how much he was beaming. “You are up to something.” 

“I’m just excited for Erinna to have her first Christmas, that's all.”

She looked at him doubtfully, but followed him down the hall to the common room. He stopped, blocking the path and took the baby from her arms, tucking Erinna comfortably into the crook of one arm and offering his other hand to Natasha. “Close your eyes.”

“What have you done, Clint.” It was a statement, not a question. Her tone was low and apprehensive.

His was excited, soothing and just a little bit commanding. “Just trust me. Close your eyes.”

“I don’t like surprises, Clint.”

“I know you don’t, but you’ll like this one. I promise. Close your eyes, take my hand and trust me.”

She looked at him, wary, but slipped her hand into the hand he was offering. He laced their fingers together and gave her a reassuring squeeze. 

“Keep ‘em closed 'til I say when, okay?” She didn’t answer. He nudged the door open and pulled her inside, letting her stop a couple of feet inside the door - she felt the wind as it closed behind her. “Okay, you can open them now.”

Natasha opened her eyes and looked around, hearing the expected _“surprise!”_ and at first had no idea what she was looking at that was supposed to be a surprise. The Christmas lunch table was set, platters and dishes piled high with delicious food sitting up and down the table. Her friends were all there; Tony, Pepper, Thor, Jane, Darcy, Steve, Sam, Bruce and Clint all smiling at her expectantly. The huge tree was perfectly decorated and glittering, wrapped gifts piled high underneath. She scanned the room more and… _oh._ She took a deep breath, covering her mouth and her eyes widened.

Around the room, brand new matching baby gear sat, waiting for use. A pack-n-play, swing, bouncer, high chair, baby gym, and basket full of baby toys. All of the gear was themed, brown with pink flowers. There was even a changing table with diapers, blankets and spare clothes. Her eyes welled up, and she looked around at her friends, who were beaming. Pepper came over to her, tears in her own eyes. “Merry Christmas, Natasha.” 

Pepper had started a chain of hugs from everyone, all of them telling her Merry Christmas. Natasha said nothing to anyone, she was too stunned. When she had hugged the last person - Thor - Pepper piped up, efficient and a fount of information, as she always was. “Everything is safety rated four-and-a-half stars or higher. If there is anything you don’t like we can take it back, but we made absolutely certain to get the best of the line. I’ll totally understand if you want to pick your own colors, though.” She smiled at Natasha, knowing that Nat wasn’t going to care at all. “We had the room professionally babyproofed, and when Erinna gets mobile, we’ll have it done again. All of the surfaces have been scotch guarded, so don’t ever worry about spilling or anything. Basically," she smiled again, "this room has been made Smidgen-friendly. We have all agreed, she is welcome here at any time." 

There were nods all around the group, and Bruce reiterated, "Any time at all, Nat. No matter who is here or what any of us is doing. Bring her in here and hang out with us. We want you to.”

Natasha finally spoke. Looking around at all of them, she said, “…I don’t know what to say. I just….thank you. But…why?”

Tony spoke up. “Well, it occurred to us that over the last few weeks, our gatherings had been lacking a certain…there was a void of…well, see, we missed our Spider.” She laughed and willed herself not to cry. “And when Birdie here called me and said that you were feeling a bit trapped over the last few weeks, well…we all decided that it was time we made the common room more suitable for a baby. After all, she can't be the Princess of the Tower if she’s confined to one floor, right?”

Natasha looked around. “You all were in on this? Everyone did this?” 

There were nods all around. Jane said, “It was like a baby shower you didn’t know about.” 

“Thank you all, so much.” She looked up at Clint, who was smiling. He bent down and kissed her. 

“Okay, enough of that,” said Tony, “We need to hurry up and eat. The men from the farm are supposed to deliver Smidgen’s pony in about 45 minutes.” 

Clint groaned. “I hope you’re full of shit, Tony.”

Tony raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “We’ll find out in 45 minutes, won’t we, Birdie?” He laughed at Clint's thoroughly put-out look. "I might be willing to call them off if you hand her over to her Uncle Tony." Clint rolled his eyes and passed Erinna over.

As Tony walked away, cooing to Erinna about how he was the coolest uncle, Clint slipped his arm around Natasha's waist and pulled her close. She looked up at him, still wide-eyed. He kissed her quickly then smiled at her. "Merry Christmas, Natasha."


	6. Photographers and Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Clint, Valentine's day starts out with a crappy mood and ends up with a crappy mood. 
> 
> The middle isn't too bad, though.

Clint grabbed his cup of coffee and went to his kitchen table, pulling his tablet over to him and unlocking it. He scrolled through his emails, bypassing the usual everyday stuff and closed it out, taking a sip of the black coffee that had a vague vanilla flavor and making a face. Ugh, Tasha. Next time he was buying the beans, and next time they were getting Columbian. 

He flipped the screen and opened his newspaper app. He flipped through the first few headlines, reading what was considered "news" but absolutely _hadn't_ happened, but you know, whatever. He took another sip of crappy vanilla coffee as he slid his finger across the screen turning the page, then choked and cursed loudly as the hot liquid went down all wrong. 

When he finished sputtering and had dumped the shitty, frankly dangerous coffee down the drain, Clint grabbed the carton of orange juice and went back to the table. He unlocked the tablet again and the news story popped up again, complete with picture and headline:

_A Sibling For Smidgen!_

The picture was a paparazzi shot of Natasha, Pepper and Jane when they had gone shopping last week. The three of them were walking together: Jane was pushing the stroller, Pepper was rummaging through a bag and Natasha was wearing the baby in the moby wrap with her coat on over both of them. _He_ knew that it was just Erinna in the wrap under the jacket, but from the angle the picture was taken you couldn't see the baby's hat sticking out from under Nat's coat. And with Jane pushing the stroller...it was an easy assumption to make. 

He read the blurb that went with the picture: _Avenger and new mom, Natasha Romanov Barton (aka Black Widow) got tongues wagging last week when she went out with her baby daughter, known as 'Smidgen', and close friends hiding a suspicious bump under a stylish black peacoat. Romanov-Barton hasn't been seen in the company of her husband, Clint "Hawkeye" Barton, for several weeks, leading some to speculate that there may be trouble in paradise for the newlyweds. For the sake of Smidgen's new sibling, we hope not!_

Clint sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, then rubbed his eyes. "Well, this is just fucking fabulous."

"What's fucking fabulous? And you better not have been drinking out of that carton like a Neanderthal."

He rubbed his eyes one more time then looked up at Natasha. She had gotten dressed for the day, already looked like a million bucks, and was cheerfully staring him down over the orange juice. "Aww, there wasn't much in there."

She snorted. "Neanderthal."

"I had to. Your shitty coffee burned me."

She slid the coffee pot back into place and brought the mug to her lips with both hands. "My coffee isn't shitty. My coffee is actually what's fucking fabulous. Admit it." Clint rolled his eyes and she grinned, sliding into her usual chair at the table. "No, really, what's got you miffed, baby?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. Natasha was not known for giving out endearments. She must really be in a good mood. He _really_ didn't want to mess that up. But...

Clint forced a smile and pushed his tablet across the table to her. "Congratulations, sweetheart. We're pregnant again." Natasha looked momentarily startled, then took the tablet and read the blurb. She grinned then chuckled. Clint didn't know if he was amused or annoyed. 

"Oh, well. Guess we should paint the second bedroom, huh?" She slid the tablet back across the table to him and took a sip of coffee. 

"Why is it funny?"

"Why isn't it?"

"They're saying we're having problems."

"We're not."

"I know that."

"Well okay then."

She took another sip of coffee and Clint looked at her, flustered. "It doesn't bother you at all?"

"Nope."

Natasha bit back the urge to laugh at his expression.

"Clint, what does it matter what anyone thinks? We're secure and happy, we're cozy in our little nest in the tower with Erinna and the guys, so what difference does it make?"

He was fighting an internal battle, the logical part of him knowing that she was entirely right but his pride wounded and angry. 

A cry came from down the hall and Natasha jumped up. "I'll get her." She left the room and Clint tipped the orange juice carton back to drink the last of the juice almost defiantly, feeling like a child as he did it, not caring. 

"There's your Daddy, Princess. Yes, there he is." Natasha came around the corner holding Erinna facing outward, so she could see everything. Her eyes - blue, the same bright blue as his - so clever and inquisitive recently, looked all over the room as they entered then landed on Clint. Erinna's face brightened and she waved a single fist in the air. 

Clint melted, just like he always did, just like he was afraid he always would. He looked at his wife and daughter standing in the doorway, both smiling and waving at him, cooing loving nonsense for him, and forgot why he was upset in the first place. _You lucky son of a bitch. Look at this. You don't deserve this, but you have it. You lucky bastard, don't you screw it up._

"C'mere, you." Clint pulled Erinna from Natasha, snuggling her into one arm and kissing her then pulled Natasha in with his free arm and held her close. "I'm sorry I'm a dipshit."

She giggled. "I'm used to it by now. But you're my dipshit and I love you." She raised up on tiptoe and kissed him gently, then put her arms around his waist. "Baby, would it make you feel better for us to go out? Something romantic, rings clearly in view? Maybe kiss in front of the paparazzi?"

He furrowed his brow and looked down at her. "Are you sick?"

Natasha drew back a little. "What? No! Why would you ask that?"

"Because you've called me 'baby' twice in one morning and offered to kiss me in public. You don't typically do romance or PDA, and we had to hide our relationship for five years. I'm concerned about you."

She shook her head, smiling. "You've forgotten, haven't you?" He looked utterly perplexed, and she rolled her eyes. "It's _Valentine's Day_ , Clint." 

"Oh, shit."

~*~

Darcy swooped in to the rescue, saying she had no plans for Valentine's day so she'd be thrilled to watch the baby. She let them know that she would probably be in the common room when they got back, watching movies with the guys, so they could have some privacy if they wanted. 

Clint didn't buy it and told her so, laughing when she blushed. Natasha slapped his arm and dragged him out, but didn't stop him when he checked the inhabitants of the common room on a hunch. They were both gratified when the only three occupants were Darcy Lewis, Erinna Barton and Steve Rogers.

"You think they'll be okay?" Clint asked as they pulled out of the garage.

"You mean..."

"I mean Erinna."

"I don't think they're going to ignore her. I'd bet money that Steve doesn't even know Darcy is interested. But neither of them would let anything happen to her."

"Okay. She may have to camp out there for a while, though. I hope Cap doesn't mind keeping her company."

Natasha blinked innocently up at him and traced her fingers up and down his arm. "Oh yeah?"

"That dress, Tasha. Jesus. We may not make it to dinner."

She smirked. "Well, you wanted people to know we were together, happy and not pregnant. I figured if you couldn't keep your hands to yourself... and me in this dress with the way it fits... then all that would be solved."

"Maybe not, because we might just find a dark alley or something. My God, Nat, that dress looks like it was painted on you. How do you look that good when you just had a baby? Damn, sweetheart. I don't know if I can be a gentleman or not. You'd better behave if you want to eat dinner."

Natasha leered. ”I'll be good until we're at dinner, then all bets are off."

"Tease."

~*~

When Clint went to Tony and explained that he had forgotten Valentine’s day, he was laughed at thoroughly. Then Tony had pity on him, getting he and Natasha a corner table at some restaurant no one else could get a table at, where it was apparently very fashionable to be seen eating. There was no need to worry about the paparazzi; they were already camped out. Once inside, Clint saw an athlete and his actress girlfriend at another table, but he was glad to know that his objective was going to be accomplished, too. 

Dinner was ok, for one of those places that served snails and considered a single piece of lettuce to be salad. Natasha seemed to be enjoying dinner and was excited when he presented her with her Valentine’s gift, a pair of diamond solitaire earrings. He explained that on the night he first laid eyes on her, she was wearing no jewelry but a pair of solitaire earrings and she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, that she hadn’t needed a bunch of jewelry to be that that gorgeous. But that S.H.I.E.L.D. had taken her earrings and never given them back and he’d always felt guilty about it. So he bought her a bigger, prettier pair to make up for it. Natasha was touched at his thoughtfulness and leaned across the table to kiss him; Clint noticed the photographer standing up from behind the bushes to capture the moment. _Well, that’s done, I suppose._

Clint was constantly distracted throughout dinner because of the amount of stares she seemed to be attracting…that damn dress. He couldn’t blame them, though, he was having a terrible time maintaining a conversation with her himself, and he’d known her for damn near a decade. How was it possible that she looked even more amazing than she had when he first laid eyes on her?

She noticed his bemused expression and questioned him about it. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“I'm trying to figure out how you’re more beautiful now than you were ten years ago.”

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t hide her smile. “Easy there hotshot. You know you’re taking me home tonight, right?”

“I know. That’s how you know it’s the truth.”

She blushed prettily and looked down at her nearly finished plate. A waiter came by and asked about dessert. Clint asked for the check. Natasha looked up at him with a glint in her eye.   


“What, no eclairs?”

“We’re going home. That damn dress, Natasha, I swear.”

~*~

Several hours later they got Erinna settled in to sleep and crawled into bed, Clint curling around Natasha as they did every night. He was just drifting off to sleep when she spoke to him.

“Clint?”

“Mmph?”

“Do you ever think about getting in touch with your brother?”

He leaned back a bit, awake now. “Why would I do that?”

“Well, he’s the only family you have, right? And wouldn’t you want to tell him he has a niece?”

Clint weighed his words carefully, sensing that there was something behind this. “I’ll put it to you this way. I don’t want to seek out anyone from my life before S.H.I.E.L.D. If he were to turn up, I’m not exactly sure how I’d feel. I guess I would be glad to see him, a little. I think. But he wouldn’t stay here, and he wouldn’t do more than lay eyes on you and Erinna. You two are not his family, no matter what relation he is to me. As far as I'm concerned, you are the only family I have. And the guys too, I suppose.” 

She lay silent for a while, then nodded. “Okay.”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“No reason.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Nat.”

She lay quietly for a while, and he waited her out. Finally, she spoke very hesitantly. “I’ve been wondering about my parents. I’ve been wondering what happened to them, what my relationship with them was. If they’re still alive, if they miss me. I wonder if I have any siblings. And if they’d like to know they have a granddaughter.”

It was Clint’s turn to lay silent for a while, then he gathered her close. “Is this something you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“You know you may not like what you find out. It could be really bad.”

“I know. I don’t know if I want to know.”

He kissed her hair and lay for a while, then kissed her hair again and said, “if you want to do this, I’ll do everything I can to help you. We’ll find them or what happened to them. And if it turns out that the worst possible scenario happened…I’ll send you away and take care of it.”

“Clint…”

“No.”

“I wouldn't be here if they hadn’t.”

“I also almost lost you when you were kidnapped by the same people, remember? You suffered and were tortured for years by the Red Room. If they did it, I will. I love you, Natasha, and that's too big of a wrong to leave uncorrected.”

Natasha wondered at the odd juxtaposition between the softness of his arms and gentleness in the way he cradled her versus the flinty hardness of his tone and voice as tears slipped silently from her eyes.


	7. That's a Nasty Cough, Smidgen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Erinna gets sick, Erinna gets _sick._ Princesses don't do anything halfway.

_Early March - 4 months old_

"Darcy, have you noticed Erinna acting weird today?"

Darcy looked up from the magazine she'd been leafing through to where Natasha stood in the doorway, rocking back and forth with the baby snuggled in the moby wrap. Clint was gone on a mission, and anytime he was away Darcy stayed with Natasha by unspoken agreement. When Darcy found out Clint was going to be gone, she just brought a bag and dropped it in the spare room when she showed up to watch the baby. The first time she did it, Clint watched her silently from the kitchen, then when she came out and walked over to the refrigerator to get a drink he gave her a quick hug. That was the only acknowledgement she'd needed or wanted. Darcy and Clint had become unlikely friends of a sort, and they understood each other well without having to say much.

Darcy looked at Natasha, her brows knitted, thinking back on her day with the baby. "Not much different than last night, really. She seemed sick, but not any sicker than last night. She didn't want to eat, she was a bit fussy and slept more than usual, she coughed some and had a runny nose. No fever or anything. It just seemed like she had a cold."

Natasha looked worried. "She doesn't want me to put her down, she's only happy if I'm wearing her. She's coughing more, her cough sounds gross, and I just don't like it. She feels warm, but her temperature is only 100.1 and you’re not supposed to give tylenol unless it gets higher than that. I can't explain it, but I feel weird about this."

"You want to call the doctor?"

"Dr. Peterson isn't back in the clinic until tomorrow morning. Nobody else is certified in pediatrics." Natasha worried her lip. "I wish Clint were here."

"He would be just as lost as you are."

"I know, but I wouldn't be scared by myself."

Darcy wanted to hug her but knew she wouldn’t accept it. She had no idea how to make it better. "Why don't you come up to the common room and watch Downton Abbey with us? A good cry mellows me out every time, and that show is practically Xanax that way." 

"I don't know. I think maybe I should stay here and keep her away from people."

"I think maybe _you_ need to be around people right now, Nat."

~*~

Steve really enjoyed Downton Abbey and made no apologies for it. He had grown up in the poorer section of Brooklyn, far removed from the British aristocracy, but the clothes, cars, props, music...all of it was familiar to him. Everyone could see his obvious pleasure while watching the show, and absolutely no one begrudged him the opportunity to watch. In fact, most of the others had found themselves avid followers of the show, including Bruce and Darcy, who had joined him tonight.

Darcy reached into the popcorn bowl between herself and Steve and looked at him covertly. She'd dressed up a bit for the occasion - nothing overdone, just a little little more presentable than jeans and t-shirt. Not many women could say they got to share Captain America's popcorn bowl, after all. 

"Edith is angsty."

"Edith is always angsty lately." He reached in and grabbed a handful of popcorn, not looking at her. "I hope she's able to settle down with a fellow like she hopes."

Darcy had noticed that he lapsed into more old-fashioned talk when he was watching Downton Abbey, and she found it adorable. 

"Yeah, it's always awesome when a guy realizes just how great the plain, unremarkable girl actually is." 

Darcy reached for another handful of popcorn, her eyes not leaving the screen. Cap turned his head slightly to look at her but she didn't acknowledge him. On the other end of the u-shaped couch, Bruce rolled his eyes.

Natasha came rushing in, holding Erinna tight to her, still wrapped in her moby. "Bruce. Bruce, are you in here?" Her tone was urgent, he heard fear there.

Bruce was on his feet and headed her way in an instant. Darcy was on the edge of her seat, Steve had jumped up and stood, assessing the situation and ready to spring.

Bruce rushed to her. "Nat? What is it?" 

"You're a doctor, right?"

He knew where this was going and felt a knot in his chest. "I'm not the kind of doctor you probably need, but I might be able to point you. What's wrong?"

"She's running a fever - it’s gone up - and her breathing is weird. Listen." She pulled Erinna out of the moby and laid her out on the couch tenderly. Bruce leaned his head down and could hear what Natasha was talking about, Erinna's breath was rattling.

"Has she been eating?"

"No, she has barely eaten all day. And she just lays around. She was crying, but now she's just lying there." Natasha had started crying. 

Bruce scooped up Erinna, handing her over to Natasha, then held her close for a second, rocking both mommy and baby soothingly. "Nat, it's going to be okay, but you have to hold it together for a while, okay? Listen to me; give Jarvis the order to let Cap and Darcy in your apartment. Cap, get her car seat. Darcy, get a diaper bag packed for one night then come back here."

Steve and Darcy nodded and headed out of the room. Nat instructed Jarvis to admit Steve and Darcy when they got to her apartment. 

"Where is Clint, Nat?"

"I don't know, Paraguay, I think. He left yesterday afternoon with Sam and Thor. They're supposed to be back Friday."

"Okay. Jarvis?"

"Yes, Dr. Banner?"

"Have Happy meet us in the garage immediately. I don't care what he's doing, this is priority. If Tony gets mad, tell him I’ll explain later. Tell Happy we need the SUV with the car seat base and black windows, and he needs to be prepared to step on it."

"Yes, Dr. Banner."

"And tell Tony I'll call him from the road."

~*~

Bruce saw the expensive brown leather shoes come skidding to a halt outside of the little room from under the blue and yellow curtain that separated them from the rest of the emergency room. He couldn't help the little half smile in the half a second before Tony threw back the fabric and darted his eyes around the room, looking near panicked.

"Where are they? Where's Smidgen?"

"Gone to radiology."

"What happened? What is the doctor saying? What's wrong with her?" 

Bruce raised his hands, "Tony, calm down. The doctors don't know what's wrong, but they aren't acting like it's anything life threatening. Her oxygen levels are okay, her fever isn't so high that it's dangerous. They think she's going to be alright, although she's pretty sick. Natasha is on the verge of panic, and we need to keep the atmosphere as peaceful as possible." He looked at Tony seriously. "Just calm down, and help me out here." 

Tony dragged his hand through his hair, but he took the hint. He took a deep breath and groused, "All you said was that Smidgen was having a hard time breathing and you were taking her to the ER, then you were all 'oops, gotta go.' You could have called me back, dickhead."

Bruce gave a small, repentant smile, "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It's been a bit hectic here. Kind of high pressure."

Tony scoffed. "High pressure. You're not the one who has to call a fucking assassin and tell him his infant daughter is in the hospital. Why are we here, anyway? Is this the best hospital? Are things moving fast enough? Does she need to be transferred somewhere? Or maybe a specialist?"

"We've already pulled the 'the-Avengers-are-here-don't-even-mention-the-waiting-room' card. Having the Hulk hanging out in your ER tends to get things done."

~*~

Tony wasn't content to leave well enough alone and couldn’t stand the thought of a sick baby lying around in a curtained room in a busy, crowded ER while they waited for answers. He had Erinna moved into a private room on the pediatrics wing - the largest room they had - away from the bustle and germs of the ER. Of course he had all visiting protocol overridden, so he and Bruce sat in Erinna's room with Natasha. 

Erinna lay with a plastic bowl-shaped bubble over her head providing her with oxygen, and had a red light taped to her toe giving a reading on her oxygen and heart rate. All three of them avoided looking at her little arm, which had been splinted to accommodate the IV there. Natasha sat by the crib, holding Erinna’s free hand and watching her sleep, her eyes red, dry and distant. Tony sat in the window, looking out at the snow falling, occasionally tending to something on his phone. Bruce leaned against the wall near the door, watching all three of them. The silence was broken only by the occasional beep of a monitor, which always caused all of the adults to jump to attention.

"Tony?" Natasha's voice was soft and quiet. Neither of them had ever heard her this way.

"Yeah."

She cleared her throat. ”Did you get Clint?" She still sounded choked, but in control. Had they not known her as well as they did, they wouldn't have noticed. 

"I got a message to the secure server. I explained what was going on but tried to do it in such a way that would reduce his panic as much as possible. They usually check every morning, so they should get it in the next few hours. With any luck, he'll be home this afternoon." She nodded silently and turned back to Erinna. 

"Nat?" She looked back at him. "This is going to be okay."

She just turned back to the baby, stroking Erinna's tiny hand. 

Without any preamble, a tall, reedy man with salt and pepper hair came in followed closely by a younger lady with an olive complexion and eyes so dark they were almost black. Natasha stood to meet them, Tony and Bruce came to stand by her. The older gentleman spoke, confidence and kindness dripping from every word. "Well, hello there, I'm Dr. Flint, young Ms. Barton's pediatrician, and this is Dr. Galanis, she's a pediatric pulmonoligist." He held his hand out to Natasha. "You must be Mrs. Barton. And Mr. Barton is...?" He looked between Bruce and Tony questioningly as Natasha shook hands with Dr. Galanis.

"He's out of town on business. This is Dr. Bruce Banner and Mr. Tony Stark. They are here as support to me and serve as Erinna's uncles."

The pediatricians' eyes widened. "Banner and Stark? As in the Avengers? So that would make you...?"

"Yes, that's me. My husband is Hawkeye, and Erinna is our daughter."

"Well, it is an honor, truly." He smiled warmly and she didn't believe he was patronizing her.

Natasha tried to give a small smile but ended up grimacing. "How is my daughter?"

"She's rather sick right now, but she is going to be alright. She has bronchiolitis, brought on by a virus called respiratory syncytial virus or RSV. It's easily treatable, but takes a little while to recover from. She's going to be just fine, though. We're going to keep her for another twenty-four to thirty-six hours and keep her on oxygen, just to keep an eye on things, then she can go home. She'll get some antibiotics through her IV, and she's not going to feel well for several days, but she's going to be back to herself very soon."

Natasha slumped in relief, Bruce put an arm around her and squeezed her. Tony put his hand out. "Thank you, doc, you've relieved a lot of minds."

"It's my pleasure. I'll be checking in every few hours, let us know if there's anything we can do. And again, it's an honor to be working with you. We appreciate all you do for us."

Bruce held out his hand, shaking Dr. Flint’s then Dr. Galanis’ hand. “The feeling is mutual, Dr. Flint, Dr. Galanis. Thank you.” Natasha muttered thanks, the best she could muster up, and Drs. Flint and Galanis left. Natasha buried her face on Bruce and cried. She had never let herself cry in front of anyone but Clint before this night, but she couldn't help it. Bruce hugged her and said nothing. 

Tony pulled his phone out and started tapping almost frantically. Bruce asked him, "What are you doing?"

"I'm deleting the last message on the servers and replacing it with a message that actually has some damn information so maybe Clint won't be so worried. And then I'm donating $20,000 to the pediatric wing of this hospital."


	8. With a Little Help From My Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint comes home when he hears Erinna is sick. Natasha wonders why Tony cares so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any of you who have been keeping up, I'm sorry I've been lax with this fic. I wasn't sure anyone was all that interested, and as soon as I got requests to update it, I had a tragedy in my personal life that has distracted me pretty badly. As long as anyone is interested, I'll keep updating...but you gotta let me know! :)
> 
> caedmonfaith.tumblr.com

Clint rushed into the hospital room still in his sniper's fatigues and looked around quickly to get his bearings. Tony set his phone down on the table next to the crib and stood, moving out of the way when Clint darted forward.

He leaned into the crib and placed one archery-roughened hand on his daughter's sleeping head. "How is she?"

"Much better. She'll go home in the morning. She could go home now but the doctor is being cautious."

"Where's Nat?"

"Pepper talked her into going down to the cafeteria to get a snack. She needed to get out of this room."

"What's wrong with her?"

"The baby?"

"Yeah."

"RSV. It's a nasty respiratory infection that babies catch sometimes."

"But she's going to be okay?"

"She'll be just fine. We've had specialist after specialist looking in after her, and they all kind of agreed they weren't needed. This was just a garden variety case, it just required a hospitalization."

Clint looked up from the baby and looked at Tony for the first time since he entered the room. "The specialists, the private room, that all you?"

Tony shrugged, an uncharacteristic show of modesty and embarrassment playing across his features. "I wanted to make sure she got the best."

Clint turned and grasped Tony's hand, shaking it for a moment before pulling him in for the briefest of hugs.

"Thanks," he said gruffly.

"It was nothing. She's our little princess after all, right?"

Clint went back to the crib, bending back down to stroke the sleeping baby's head. "That she is."

oOo

Natasha had taken her place beside the crib and Clint had gotten comfortable in the crappy recliner the hospital provided, the remote for the TV in his lap as he nodded. Pepper and Tony stood next the crib with Natasha saying goodbye, telling her they'd have everything ready for Erinna to come home in the morning.

"The press has been tipped off, but don't worry about them. We'll get you guys home with minimal hassle."

"Thank you."

Tony looked at her seriously. "I've got the best doctors that I could find who will be on call the clinic for the next few days in case you need them. We'll do what we have to to get her well."

"I appreciate it, Tony. We both appreciate everything."

"No sweat."

"You know, I never figured you as someone who would love babies or children so much. Frankly, I'm surprised you're so protective of any of us."

Tony sighed and ducked his head, looking at the floor for half a second before raising up to look at her. "The truth is, up until a few years ago, I had almost no personal relationships. I had a lot of people I talked to and worked with or partied with, but none of them got close to me. Pepper changed that," he put his arm around the blonde and gave her a quick squeeze, "and when she did, I realized what I'd missed out on. Friends haven't been easy to come by for me for a lot of reasons, and the ones that I've found, I want to take care of."

Natasha nodded. It may seem to others like Tony was buying friendship, but she knew better. She knew that he was simply using his seemingly endless resources to protect what he cared about, and she appreciated it.

"As far as babies...well, I've seen and dealt with a lot of crappy adults. Babies aren't tainted by the world yet. They're still malleable into something good. Plus, they're cute. You and Clint will make Smidgen into a good person, I know it. I'd like to be a part of it - maybe a footnote in the credits of her life when she explains to people how she got so wonderful."

Pepper blinked at Tony. "That was beautiful."

"I have my moments."

She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "You're a good man, Charlie Brown."

"I'll do, I suppose."

Natasha smiled at the interplay between the two. "Well, whatever your reason, I'm grateful."

"You are incredibly welcome. And now, we're going to leave you. Hopefully you can lay on the couch and sleep for a bit."

"Yeah, I don't see it happening, but I can try."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, Tony, I think we're good. Besides, you've done so much..."

Pepper leaned over for a quick hug. "Let us know if you need anything. Anything at all."

"We will."

"Kiss that baby when she wakes up for her Aunt Pepper."

"I'll be happy to," Natasha smiled.

"Good. We'll see you in the morning, then."

oOo

Natasha sat in the chair in the nursery, aiming the nebulizer in Erinna's face and rocking gently. Clint found her singing softly as the baby reached up for her nose.

"She seems to feel better today, that's good." 

Natasha didn't look up, but smiled. "She does. She's a lot perkier."

"I owe Tony and Bruce huge."

"I think they'd probably be offended to hear you say that. They would see it as an affront to their uncledom."

Clint curled his lip a bit. "Is that even a word? 'Uncledom'?"

"It is now."

Clint chuckled at her, then walked to lean against the crib, crossing his arms and looking down at his two girls. "I'm sorry I wasn't here, Tasha."

She didn't answer right away. When she did, her voice was soft, delicate somehow. "You couldn't help it. We have to do our jobs."

"I'm still sorry, sweetheart. You needed me and I was gone." Natasha reached over and flipped the switch on the nebulizer, turning it off then nuzzled Erinna close. Clint heard her sniffle. He dropped to his knees in front of her. "Nat? What is it?"

"I was so scared, Clint. I've been scared before, but not like this. I've been terrified of losing you before, but you can always fight back in bad situations. Erinna...she was so, so sick. It was terrifying to see her all limp and sick and the coughing..." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "She couldn't fight back, and it was just me. I didn't know what to do, I was completely out of my depth. I'd have been lost without Bruce, and then Tony. But as much as I was grateful for Bruce's expertise and Tony's getting things done, and both of them were comforting...I'd have traded both of them in a second to have you there."

He reached up and slid one hand down her cheek, she leaned into his touch. "I can stop going on missions if you want. I'll stay here, take a regular joe job. I'm sure Tony will put me to work in analytics or some such."

She shook her head and wiped her eyes again. "No, no. You have to do what you do best, and so do I. I was just scared. You're home now, and it's all okay."

He rose up on his knees to kiss her forehead, then Erinna's forehead before pressing a soft kiss to Natasha's lips. "I love you, Natasha. I'll always do my absolute best to take care of you, sweetheart. Both of you. But if I'm not here, I'm so glad that we're surrounded by people who want to help take care of each other."

"Is this what having a family is like, I wonder?"

"I have no idea, but I'll take it."

"Me too."


	9. Back in the Saddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha returns to the field, Clint isn't happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind, when Clintasha fights, it's a big damn deal.

“Darcy, Cap is an idiot about women. He’s brilliant and wonderful and the nicest guy in the world, but he’s an absolute moron when it comes to women. You’re going to have to get assertive. Don’t tell me you don’t know how, I know you do.” Natasha didn't bother looking up from the pan of sizzling chicken as she advised her friend. 

“Of course I know how. It’s just that this is Captain Freaking America. I can’t just bounce my cleavage and flash some leg at him. He’s a choir boy, for crying out loud.”

Natasha chuckled at that thought. “Yeah, no.”

“No?”

Natasha snorted. “No. He’s not a choir boy. Cap is actually quite-“

Jarvis interrupted her. “Madam, I feel I should warn you.”

“Yes, Jarvis?”

“Mr. Barton is on his way home, and he’s…” 

The door opened and slammed shut. Clint bellowed, “ _NAT! We need to talk. NOW!_ ” His voice was booming, angry, menacing.

“…quite upset,” the AI finished.

Darcy looked at Natasha, owl-eyed. “Oh, shit.”

“It’s fine. Go, I’ll see you in the morning.” She smiled encouragingly to show the bookish, younger girl that she wasn’t at all intimidated by her husband’s blustering. 

Clint stood to the side when Darcy pressed herself against the doorjamb, trying to make herself as small as possible and not catch Clint’s notice during her exit. He didn’t spare her a glance, his eyes were on Natasha. Natasha didn’t favor him with a look, she just continued to stir-fry. “You know, if you scare the shit out of her so badly that she won’t come back, we’ll be in a hell of a mess.”

He ignored her, stepping into the kitchen and standing at the far end of the counter, his fists balled on the tile and leaning in her general direction. Natasha felt the anger radiating off of him and prepared herself for the confrontation. She had known there would be an argument, but she hadn’t expected him to be this angry. 

“When were you going to tell me, Natasha? Am I not important enough to fill in on this important information?”

“I only found out about the mission this morning.”

He stepped back and threw his arms into the air, pushing something invisible away, then gesticulating forcefully. “And you couldn’t fucking tell me? You couldn’t track me down? Or have Jarvis track me down? Or just pick up the goddamn phone and _call_ me?”

Natasha turned the heat off under the food, grabbed a dishtowel and stepped back from the stove, wiping her hands. “Clint -“

“No. Don’t. Don’t even try, Natasha. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Do you want to know how I found out that my wife was going back into the field? You wanna know? I found out about an hour ago when Steve mentioned you guys were leaving in the morning like it was no big deal. He thought I already knew. Imagine his face when he saw my face and realized that my wife hadn’t told me that she was taking off the next day on a fucking mission. Pretty funny to think about our reactions to each other, huh?”

“Clint, baby, listen -“

“No, _YOU_ fucking listen. And don’t you _‘baby’_ me, it won’t work this time.” He punctuated ‘ _you_ ’ with a stab of his forefinger as he leaned towards her aggressively. “Do you give no shits about me, Natasha? About Erinna? Our family? Do you care so little about us that you would take off on a mission without even _telling_ me about it first? You didn’t even do that when we were dating, for fuck’s sake!” He brought his hands up to his forehead and walked to the end of the kitchen table and back again, grinding the heels of his hands into his temples. “We always told each other _everything_. Why would you not tell me now?” His voice gave the barest hint of a crack, and the hurt peeked up through the anger. Natasha looked at him, weighing her words carefully. She waited too long to respond. _”ANSWER ME, GODDAMMIT!_ What are you hiding? Is it Steve?”

He’d pushed the wrong button. She balled up the dishtowel and threw it in his face. “ _NO_ , you dumb son of a bitch, it's not Steve. Steve has _never_ been a consideration for me _AT ALL_ but you’re too damned stupid or jealous or what-the-fuck-ever to realize that _THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN ME AND STEVE ROGERS AND THERE WILL NEVER BE._ “

His voice was only softened a touch when he asked, “So why didn’t you tell me, then, huh? Why’d I have to find out from him? Why not you?”

Natasha crossed her arms defensively, one hip cocked, her jaw jutting defiantly. He had her there; she _should_ have told him sooner, and she knew it. “I was going to tell you, Clint, I was going to tell you tonight over dinner. You didn't give me a fucking chance.” 

Clint took the dishtowel and threw it forcefully towards the sink. _“YOU HAD ALL GODDAMN DAY, NATASHA!_ ALL FUCKING DAY!”

A small, distant wail came from the direction of Erinna’s room, and Jarvis spoke up. “Sir, Madam, young Miss Barton has awakened and appears to require your attention.”

Natasha glared daggers at Clint. “Nice going, asshole. You woke up your daughter.” 

She started towards him to get the baby. Clint put out an arm to stop her and started in that direction himself. “I’ll do it. You pack, since you’re _leaving us_ in the morning.” Natasha shoved him off and kept going. Clint watched her through narrowed eyes as she went down the hall towards the nursery. “We’re not done talking, Natasha.”

She didn't turn around, just called out loud enough for him to hear, “Fuck you, Clint.”

o0o

Natasha found him hours later in the shooting range, where she knew he’d be. Oh, how well she knew this man of hers.

She watched him, and was sorry. She should have told him the instant she had known, but she knew the fact that it was an op with Steve was going to cause friction and she just didn’t want to deal with it. So she put it off, and it had been an even bigger problem. She shouldn’t have done it, and now she was reaping the benefits. She’d seen him for fifteen minutes that day, during which they’d had a blowup fight that was unlike them. Now it was almost midnight and he’d never come to bed. Natasha suspected that if she hadn’t come hunting, he never would have come to bed. She wasn’t willing to leave with bad feelings, so she’d come to find him. Now it was just a matter of getting him to talk to her. She watched him shoot, drawing back an arrow, the way the muscles in his shoulders bunched and lengthened in places as he drew and then in different places as he released...she'd always been fascinated by him when he shot.

“What do you want, Natasha?”

_Well, that’s one hurdle cleared._

“I want you to come sleep with me.”

“I want to be alone tonight.”

“That’s unacceptable. I didn’t marry you so I could sleep alone.”

“Same here.”

 _Ouch._ “Clint, I'm sorry.”

He turned around to look at her, lowering his bow. “What did you say?”

“I’m sorry, Clint. I should have told you as soon as I found out. I just knew that you would make a big deal about Steve, and I didn’t -“

“You really think this is about Steve?”

Natasha blinked, nonplussed. “It’s not?”

Clint shook his head and turned back to his shooting. “No. It’s not. Not like you think.”

Natasha watched as he took two more shots, then asked. “What’s it all about then?”

Clint took another shot, then sighed. He lay down his bow and turned to look at her. “Natasha. We’re married and have a child. We’ve always been partners, we’ve always worked together. We’re a team and we always have been. We still are, in every single way. But you’ve been out of the field for a _long_ time. I know that you’re the best in the business, the best that there is, but there’s bound to be some rust. It’s just the way it is, you know I'm right. And on your first mission back you’re going out with Cap…I’m just afraid he won’t take care of you as well as I would. I'm afraid he won’t bring you back safe. He didn't last time.” Natasha stared at him, lost for words, her mind working. Clint walked over to her and pulled her close, slipping one arm around her waist and threading the fingers of his other hand through her hair. “Tasha, I could not survive if something happened to you. I couldn't. I mean it. I wouldn't be able to live through it. It damn near killed me when the Russians got you that time. I don’t think I could survive that again.” He brushed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you too much, is what I’m saying.”

“So you don’t want me to go? Are you seriously trying to keep me from going?”

“No. I know you and I know you’re going to go. I know you’re the best there is and that you’re the one who’ll probably be covering Cap’s ass. It’s just…I’m terrified, Tasha. I’m so scared of losing you. I’m so scared of being without you, of being a single dad.”

She stepped closer to him and let his arms circle her, placing her ear to his chest and listening to the reassuring thump of his heart. “Clint, I’ll come home to you. I promise. I’ll come home to you and the baby. Nothing could keep me away.”

o0o

Four days later, Natasha came home. She was sporting a sprained ankle along with various cuts and bruises, but she was safe. Clint treated her injuries (she had refused to let Steve touch them and wouldn’t consider medical until Clint looked at them), and then tucked her into bed. He sat on the bed with the baby and they both watched Erinna play with her feet until Natasha fell asleep. Clint quietly lifted the baby and took her out so mommy could sleep, but not before pressing a kiss to the sleeping woman’s forehead and thanking God she had made it home.


	10. The Set-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Natasha stage a set-up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...I've been gone for almost ten months, and I'm sorry about that. I won't get into why or make any promises to update, but I do promise to TRY and promise to write more Clintasha in general. I've missed writing Clintasha. 
> 
> I own nothing but mistakes, because I have no beta.
> 
> When you leave kudos on a fic, Natasha smiles and calls Clint a dork. When you leave a comment, Clint yells "caw caw, motherfucker" right before he does something stupidly hilarious. When you share a fic (ANY fic), the two of them kiss.
> 
> I've got a new tumblr! clintasha-n-olicity.tumblr.com

"Where did you learn to cook?" Darcy asked interestedly, snitching a sliced carrot from the plate on the counter between she and Natasha. 

"Here and there," Natasha replied, chopping the celery into fine cubes. "Sometimes I'd have to pretend to be someone's wife for a few months, and this was part of the gig. Then Clint and I got married, and Steve and Bruce started hanging around. They're all hopeless, so I had to learn if they were going to survive." The corner of her mouth quirked up as she cut. "And if you sneak one more of those carrots Darcy Lewis, you're going to draw back a nub of a finger."

Darcy's hand froze two inches from the plate, holding the carrot slice in a loose pincer grasp. Natasha dropped the knife and relaxed her shoulders, letting her head fall to one side in mock exasperation. "Oh, come on Darcy. You're welcome to anything in this house. You know that. I'm just messing with you."

"Well, I just have to check sometimes, what with you being death on heels and all."

Natasha chuckled and grabbed the plates, knocking two more slices down on the counter in front of Darcy before she removed it. "I'm only deadly to people who need it. Or Clint when he leaves the towels in the floor."

"When I do what now?" Clint called as he came around the corner, peeking into the kitchen. "What'd I do that requires deadly force now?"

Natasha didn't look away from the stove. "Nothing, yet. But the night is young."

"That it is. Where's Erinna?" 

Darcy gestured toward the high chair in the corner, and Clint spotted the baby. He started that way but Darcy plowed ahead anyway, talking around a mouthful of carrot. "She's over there, eating some puffs. She's been babbling so much lately, I'm surprised you didn't hear her."

Two things happened when Darcy said the word 'surprised': Steve Rogers followed Clint into the kitchen and a bright-orange piece of carrot about the size of a grain of rice went flying out of Darcy's mouth, landing on the white-tiled counter in front of her, impossible to ignore. 

She blushed mightily and didn't look at Steve, just grabbed a napkin and wiped the traitorous little bit of vegetable up as fast as she could, praying that he hadn't noticed her while chewing the rest as fast as she could without choking.

"Hi, Nat. Hi, Darcy. Something smells good."

Darcy closed her eyes and tried to die for half a second before she swallowed and turned around to smile at Steve. "Hi, Steve."

Clint bared his teeth and pointed to a spot between two of his teeth on the left side of his mouth. "Hey, Darce? You got a little...right there..."

It was in that moment that Darcy stopped believing in deities. Yep. Thor was just a bro. God couldn't exist and leave her like this.

A dishtowel came flying across the room and hit Clint in the face, but Darcy didn't see it. She heard him mutter, "I guess this means deadly force?"

Darcy cut her eyes at Natasha to see what she would say, and the redhead was staring daggers at her husband. "Only after a good, long while, you ass."

Clint sighed. "Darce, I'm sorry I'm an ass. I didn't mean to be an ass. Please forgive me for being an ass. I will endeavor to never be an ass again. Hopefully my ass-fulness will not prevent you from staying for dinner, as planned. I promise to keep my assishness at a minimum for dinner, and again, I apologize for being an ass." 

Darcy couldn't help it, she laughed. Even Steve chuckled.

"Okay. I'll stay for dinner."

Natasha was struggling with herself not to smile, but finally let the smile win by turning to Steve and asking graciously, "You're staying too, right?"

"Oh, I don't know, I don't think...if you already have company..."

"Of course he's staying," Clint answered, "he told me on the way up he would, and he and I are going out sparring after dinner."

"Excellent! I made plenty. And then after, we were going to watch _Raising Arizona_ no matter what Clint said about sparring because it's movie night and we haven't had many of those since Erinna came along. Sparring can wait until tomorrow night. Right, Clint?" She gave him a mock-stony stare.

_"We got a child now, everything's changed!"_ Clint threw out with an exaggerated twang.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "I _knew_ he was going to do that."

>>>\------->

The five of them sat down to the table with Clint scooting Erinna's high chair up and pouring some puffs onto her tray so she could "eat" with the grown-ups. 

Natasha had made an excellent, beautiful meal. Darcy noted how special everything looked tonight - candles lit and everything! - as opposed to a simple pot roast and salad. But nobody else seemed to think anything was amiss and everyone was just helping themselves when JARVIS interrupted.

"Pardon me, Clint and Natasha, but Mr. Stark requires your assistance as soon as you are able to attend him."

Natasha and Clint exchanged glances. "Can it wait for dinner?"

JARVIS replied: "I'm sorry, ma'am, Mr. Stark was very insistent that you come meet him as soon as possible."

Steve folded his napkin and laid it on his plate. "Tell him we'll be right there."

JARVIS stammered slightly. "Actually, Captain Rogers, he only requires the Bartons at this time. You are free to do as you wish."

Steve sat back down from his half-standing position. 

Clint and Natasha looked at each other again, then Natasha looked at Darcy and Steve. "Darcy, do you mind staying with the baby?"

"No, of course not," she shook her head.

"Thank you." She folded her napkin and laid it by her plate. "You two eat, and we'll be back. If you happen to finish before we get back, go ahead and start the movie. But we'll be back soon, ok?"

"Sure," Darcy said, and Steve nodded. Clint pulled out Natasha's chair and they left the room. 

Darcy and Steve both watched the empty doorway silently until they heard the front door to the apartment close behind them. The only sound was Erinna babbling softly and smacking the tray of the high chair.

Steve muttered very quietly, so that only Darcy could hear him. "Hey, Darce?"

Darcy's heart fluttered that he'd called her 'Darce'. She answered back, just as quietly, "Yeah?"

"You get the feeling we're being set up?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Glad it's not just me." Steve opened his napkin again and laid it across his lap, turning back to his food. Darcy watched him, nonplussed, wondering if he thought this was a good thing or a bad thing.

>>>\------->

"Well," Darcy said, coming back into the living room, "she certainly put up quite the fight tonight. Didn't want to go to sleep."

Steve smiled at her from the couch. "She likes playing with you."

"Oh, I don't know," Darcy blushed, "she played with you more than me." Darcy couldn't look at him. "I think she has a crush on her Uncle Steve."

Steve didn't say anything for a minute, he just looked down at the beer in his hands before he seemed to have an idea, looking back up at her standing in the doorway. "Hey, you know, they said it was movie night. And there was some movie about Utah we were supposed to watch?"

_"Raising Arizona."_

"That's right. I've never seen it. Want to watch it with me?"

Darcy wasn't sure how she was able to function with all of the blood that was supposed to be powering her entire body just in her face making it bright red, but she nodded. Steve smiled and patted the couch beside him. "Want to sit by me?" She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I mean, you don't have to, I just thought -"

"No! I mean, yes! Of course I do." She walked over and sat down on the couch beside him, leaving a distance her mother would have considered respectable ( _leave room for Jesus!_ ) and she figured Steve would, too. I mean, he was old fashioned, right? Hell, she didn't know. 

Steve scooted forward, grabbed the remotes from the coffee table and started pushing the buttons to get the movie started. Darcy noticed when he scooted back into place that he was considerably closer than the distance she had placed between them and he had casually thrown his arm on the back of the couch behind her. Her heart stammered and she willed it to function properly.

Steve laughed and Darcy giggled at the funny parts, and Darcy felt Steve's arm slowly creeping its way down around her shoulder, gently pulling her closer to his side. She acquiesced, and when she rested her head on his shoulder, he brought his free hand over to hold hers. He held her, and they laughed at the movie in front of them. Darcy felt comfortable, safe and happy.

On the screen, the police were investigating the kidnapping of Nathan Jr, and questioning Nathan Arizona in his bathrobe. He was growing increasingly frustrated with the police officers and when one asked what Nathan Jr. had been wearing, his father replied, _"I don't know, they were jammies! They had yodas and shit on 'em!_ "

Steve turned his head to Darcy and asked, "They had what?"

Darcy raised her head to look at him. "Yodas and sh-"

He stopped her mouth with a kiss, and once his lips met hers once, he couldn't seem to get enough of the feeling. Darcy didn't mind; she'd seen this movie a hundred times, anyway.

>>>\------->

Five floors above, JARVIS broke into a game of MarioKart. "Mission accomplished, sir."

"Bout damn time," Tony muttered.

"Hush," Natasha admonished. "You're just pissed that you're getting your ass handed to you over and over. So, JARVIS," she said, changing directions, "they're engaged in - er - romantic behavior?"

"Yes, ma'am. They are currently kissing on the couch."

Clint and Tony high-fived each other, and Tony said, _"Finally._ That boy needs to get laid."

Natasha looked at him like he had spit out a slug. "My god, Tony, could you be any more crass?"

JARVIS spoke before Tony could. "Yes ma'am, he could. Very easily."

"Alright now, JARVIS. That's enough," Tony said.

"Very good, sir."

"Wait!" Clint yelled. "Natasha and I have money riding on this. How far did they get into the movie?"

"I'm sorry, sir?"

"How long did they watch the movie before they, you know, engaging in romantic behavior."

"They didn't. Captain Rogers put his arm around Miss Lewis immediately upon sitting down to watch the film."

Clint hung his head, and Natasha punched him in the arm. "You owe me fifty bucks."


	11. Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha makes cookies, and Clint has news he doesn't want to deliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a looooong overdue gift for BlackHawksChild, who is way more patient than I deserve. The muse kind of took me in a different direction...? But there are cookies! :D

Clint came into the apartment, taking in the warm, sweet smell and hearing laughter from the kitchen. He called out to Natasha and went to the closet, putting his quiver away with decidedly less ceremony than usual. 

“In the kitchen!”

He tilted his head from side to side, cracking his neck, getting it out of the way before Nat saw him and raised hell. She hated when he did that, but it was a habit he couldn’t seem to break. The solution, obviously, was just to do it when she wasn’t around. Clint was no fool; even married to her and the father of their daughter, he wasn’t about to provoke the temper of Natasha Romanov Barton. 

He rounded the corner into the kitchen to find she and Darcy laughing, Natasha pulling a tray of cookies out of the oven. “Hey babe!” she called out, smiling. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, bending down a little to kiss her cheek. “How are ya, Darce?” 

Darcy smiled at her friend. “Fair to middlin’.”

Clint grinned. “How’s the new boyfriend?”

Natasha chuckled and Darcy blushed. “I’m still not sure whether I should thank you or throw something at you for that.”

“If you’re as happy as you seem to be, I would think that thanking us should be the thing to do.”

“Seems that way,” Darcy nodded, still blushing. “Steve and I are getting along great.”

“Good,” Clint said, giving her a side-hug. “Let me know if I need to put an arrow through him for being a dick, okay?”

“Oh, hush,” Natasha said, swatting him with a towel. 

“Where’s Erinna?”

“Jumperoo,” Darcy said. “We just left her a minute ago. Bubble Guppies is on.”

“Stupid fish-kids,” Clint muttered. “Alright then. I’m going to hop in the shower. Darce, you sticking around for dinner?”

“Dunno. Waiting to hear back from Steve.”

“Wait,” Natasha put her hands on her hips. “Something's not right. I’m baking. I just took cookies out of the oven. I’ve baked exactly six times in our relationship, and you’ve fairly bounced off the wall every time. Why’re you so sullen this time?”

Clint smiled. “I’m sorry, just got swept up in the excitement of Steve and Darcy’s budding romance. It smells good! What’d you make?”

“Snickerdoodles,” Natasha said, eyeing him. “Darcy gave me her mother’s recipe. They’re delicious, and Erinna is finally old enough to eat most table foods. I thought it would be a nice treat for all of us. And you’re hiding something, but we’ll talk about it later.”

“It’ll be fun to watch her eat a cookie, that’ll be cute. And I’m fine, just need a shower.”

She stared him down, and he met her gaze for a moment, looking away after a while. Clint mumbled and wandered off, still feeling her stare on him. 

In the shower, he leaned against the cold tile and asked himself when, exactly, he was going to tell her, knowing it had to be soon - before Tony told her, anyway. She’d wear him down soon. She had him, he knew it, but he’d hold out as long as he could. 

>>\------->

He found her in her dance studio the next day, her body practicing the movements she knew so well, and he leaned in the door and watched her. Erinna sat on a blanket in the corner gumming her favorite giraffe toy, also watching her mother, perhaps wondering if she’d ever be able to do what her she was seeing. 

Clint waited until the song was done then came into the studio, scooping up Erinna while Natasha toweled her face and slid the cloth around her neck, drinking from the bottle of water. He cooed to his daughter, who patted his face playfully, and Natasha watched them carefully.

“You ready to talk now?” she asked with a bite to her tone.

“Nat,” he said slowly and without looking at her, “this is one of those things that you can never un-know. I wish I didn’t know it, but I do. Now I have the information and don’t know what to do with it. I don’t think I want to tell you.”

“I want to know.”

“It’s about your family.”

Natasha went silent, her hands dropping from her hips. She looked at him, the shock evident in her eyes, then shook her head after he’d finally looked up at her. “I don’t know if I want that information or not.”

“See? I thought I did, now I don’t.”

“Is it...is it bad?”

“Natasha, there was no good information to learn. No matter what we found out, it was going to be hard to hear, hard to know.”

She nodded her acceptance of this and looked away. He didn’t say anything, he just bounced Erinna, acknowledging her tiny presence in his arms without looking at her. Natasha looked wounded, and the fact that he’d done that to her tore at his heart like a clawed, fanged animal. He felt lower than he’d felt since he’d been on that mission with the kingpin’s daughter. He’d hurt her, carelessly, for his own selfish gain. He’d wanted to hurt the people who hurt her, the thoughts of what it may do to her in the here-and-now were secondary. Now the evidence of his negligence was staring at her slipper-clad feet, and he couldn’t be more of a bastard if he tried. 

“Erinna really liked the cookies, I didn’t make enough. I think I’ll make some more this evening.”

“Natasha…” he started, reaching out one hand for her, shifting the baby. She shook her head and kept walking towards the door.

“You seemed to like them, too. They were a hit. I’ll make a bunch this time.”

She left, and he stood with their daughter in his arms. Erinna looked up at him, green eyes shining and smiling at him, and he shook his head at her. “Oh, baby girl, did you ever draw the short straw on the emotionally-capable father front.”

>>\------->

Natasha was acting as if everything were completely normal by the time he made it back to their apartment, and he couldn’t detect anything that would indicate that the fact he had intel about her family was even on her mind.

Except she kept popping up with questions about them at odd, unexpected times.

Changing Erinna’s diaper the next day, she asked while applying powder, “Who else knows?”

“Knows what?” he asked back, taken off guard.

“About my family.”

“Oh. Steve and Tony.”

She nodded and said nothing else until three days after that, in the car. “I haven’t asked them, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“Steve and Tony. And I haven’t bothered you with it.”

Clint reached over and held her hand. “You can ask me anything you want. I won’t hide anything. But don’t force them into anything, okay?”

She went silent again until the next night, in bed, and she woke him with it. “Are they alive?”

He didn’t have to ask what she meant this time. “Some of them. Others have died across the years.”

She said nothing, then two days later she murmured something while rocking Erinna as he watched the game with the volume low. He muted the television and asked her to repeat it.

“My mother?”

“Alive.”

Natasha didn’t say anything, she just rocked for a second. Clint sensed a change in the air and let her go on.

“I remember her sometimes, you know. And I think of her sometimes, when I rock the baby.”

“I’ll tell you if you want to know, Natasha.”

Clint watched a single, glittery tear fall to the baby’s head, and his heart broke all over again. 

“Maybe. Maybe soon. But not tonight.” She sniffled, then went silent again. The silence yawned around them, and Clint’s mind swirled with things to say - comfort for her, recriminations for himself, ways to soften the blow of the story he knew he must tell soon. He opened his mouth to say something - anything - when Natasha spoke before he could. “Tonight, I’m going to put Erinna in the bed, and get the cookies, and you and I are going to sit on the couch together and watch the rest of this dumb game. Okay?”

Natasha looked up at him with wet eyes and he nodded. “Absolutely,” he agreed quietly.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is going to be slightly different from most babyfics I've read. This isn't going to be all fluff...although it'll be pretty fluffy. Having three kids myself, I can tell you that being a parent is anything but fluffy. It's tons of rough edges and miserable nights and questioning life choices...but for every crappy moment, there are two or three awesome ones. I'm just not going to skip over the shitty ones straight to the fluff.
> 
> Also, while it's true that becoming a parent changes people, you don't just stop being an adult because you have a baby and become a parent. Parents still swear, they still have arguments, they still have sex. I don't intend to put any smut in here, but this is a babyfic meant for adults. Clint and Natasha are hardened assassins, and having a baby isn't going to make them sunshine and roses. They're still trained spies and killers, even if they're Avengers who use their powers for good now.


End file.
